Investing in Precious Metals 101 Ad

If you prefer to listen to the author read this article, Click Here.

Bill was 48 when his wife stunned him with a request for divorce.  Right up until that moment, he’d thought everything was fine.

He’d been pouring all his energy into his work to provide a very comfortable life for his wife and 2 children.  But she was unhappy and fell out of love while Bill wasn’t paying attention to matters at home.  He’d taken her for granted and forgot to be present for the most important people in his life, and to be grateful in the moment.

After she was gone, Bill was filled with emptiness and regret. All he wanted was to get her back, but it was too late.  The damage had been done.  What he had before was now in the past.

This parable of Bill’s loss serves as a reminder to all of us that, with all that’s awry in the world, it’s all too easy for those of us who are paying attention to gripe about everything that’s going wrong.

Yes, there are many trends that are headed on the wrong trajectory.  But this tumultuous period of history also affords each of us the fantastic opportunity to contribute positively to the new future that’s on the way.

Please take this article an invitation to be grateful for what you have, and to notice just how wonderful our current lifestyle truly is.  It won’t remain this way, as I’ll expound on in a moment.

So take the time to be grateful, hug those that you love, and feed the parts of your life that nourish you most.  Maintaining perspective in times such as these is really important.

The truth is that we happen to be alive at a time of peak abundance and technological miracles.  It’s never been easier or more comfortable to be a human.

On nearly every dimension — longevity, dependable access to food, quality of shelter, personal safety, leisure time, intellectual pursuits, technological advancements — no previous generation of humans have enjoyed the excesses and luxuries that we currently do.

What are you going to do with that good fortune while it lasts?

The ‘Good Old Days’

Once I truly understood the role of net energy in delivering the miraculous abundance we experience, and then connected that to the impending decline of global fossil fuels, I came to a startling conclusion: These are the “good old days”.

This is as good as it gets.  This is as easy and wonderful as it’s ever been for the average human on earth. And we’re now at (actually, likely past) the peak. Soon, everyone will fondly reminisce about this soon-to-be-bygone era:

“Remember when you could just hop on a plane and go anywhere in the world for the cost of just a day or two of your income?”

“Or how about walking into a grocery store, anytime of the year, and buying whatever fresh veggies you wanted — at any time of the day or night, no matter what season it was? Remember that?”

Today’s daily miracle of life is insanely good.  Simply click a mouse button and in just a day or two the big, brown truck of happiness rolls up your driveway delivering goodies.  Or blythely sleep through a painless surgical procedure.  Maybe use GPS to navigate the worst Boston commute as you smoothly glide in a well-engineered personal chariot with 150 horses under the hood.

Face it, we have it better than true royalty did just 100 years ago.

Too Many People, Too Little Energy

But our modern way of living won’t last.  It can’t.  The flows of energy that are required to maintain the complexity of our current system simply aren’t there.

These energy systems which make our current global economy run are still 80% reliant on fossil fuels. So are our current alternative energy systems — which are are still mined, refined, built and installed using fossil fuels.

There are exactly zero full-cycle alternative energy systems that can be rebuilt using their own energy output.  As Nate Hagens wisely says: they are not really renewable energy systems, but replaceable energy systems.

We could and we should be doing things very differently here at this moment in human history. But we’re acting like we always have; ignoring problems up until the point things start breaking badly.  This is simply insane with nearly 8 billion people on the planet (quickly heading towards 10 billion) and yet we have no comprehensive plan for weaning ourselves off of fossil fuels.

Looking out at the next 20 years is downright frightening.

By 2040, we’ll be well past the point of Peak Oil if this model is correct (which is running three scenarios based on how much oil there might be, low med, and high):

Oil Shock Model chart

(Source)

The implications of oil’s inevitable and predictable decline are so profound that it’s a crime you’re only reading about it here and maybe one or two other “fringe” places on the net. Given its importance to everyone living on the planet today, it should be constant front page news everywhere.

Once we’re past peak production of oil, the entire suburban Ponzi experiment folds like a cheap card table, modern industrial agriculture becomes too expensive to continue, and the entirety of the financial system loses its motive power.

But, there’s no plan at all for addressing this. Not from any national government that I’ve seen. And I’ve been tracking this predicament for 15 years now.

Which brings me back to gratitude, which I think will be critical for dealing with the coming grief of losing our current comforts.

Having gratitude for what you do have is infinitely better for your mental well-being than worrying about what you don’t, or won’t, have.  When I fly somewhere I’m grateful for the magical speed and ease of the technology.  When I fill up my gas tank on my car, I’m grateful for the incredibly complex supply chains and financial systems that have to be in place for that to happen.

‘It’s not having what you want, it is wanting what you’ve got.’

~ Sheryl Crow

We really better appreciate all we have right now. Because our modern lifestyle just can’t last.

Don’t Be Like Bill

Bill made mistakes and now lives with regrets.  Don’t be like Bill.

It’s perfectly clear that much of what we take for granted today is the product of multiple unsustainable systems all trundling towards the day when they fail.

We’re in ecological overshoot; which means the birds, bees and big game still around today may be extinct in our lifetime.  And along with them, much of our food web.

Imagine the regret we’ll feel then.

We’re also in debt overshoot; which means that a future of economic austerity awaits as companies and households start to fail in large number.  Whether the killing blow comes via deflation or inflation is academic at this point.

The end result will be the same: less prosperity and opportunity for all — because we splurged today without thought for how we’d pay tomorrow’s bills when they arrived.

Imagine our regret then.

We’re burning through the last dregs of high-net energy oil. And we’re in population overshoot, too.  Replacing that oil and feeding so many of ourselves will take energy — lots and lots of energy — but where will it come from?

We don’t yet know at this point. And we’re not even yet admitting to ourselves that we have a problem. A big problem. So we’re highly likely to slam head-first into the biggest global ever energy crisis modern man has ever seen.

Imagine our regret when that day arrives.

What Happens Next

While all this probably sounds depressing, it’s doesn’t have to be.

It’s just how things stand today. But there is still time to improve our destiny, at least, at the individual level.

Let this wake-up call become your invitation to bring your very best self to the game.  You can either choose to be engaged in the reformation of life on this planet, or be carried along by the changes as they emerge (which will probably be far less enjoyable than the former option).

The true opportunity here is for each of us to appreciate that this is the one and only shot we’re going to get at life, as far as we know.  So make of it what you can.

That’s the invitation.

Our ‘tribe’ here at Peak Prosperity is full of people actively engaged in answering this invitation by bringing their best selves. It really is community of high-achieving quality thinkers and doers unlike any other. I invite you to join us.

Together, we’re facing these multiple problems and predicaments head on, and using them as motivation to align ourselves and our actions with the world as it truly exists — not as we wish it were.

It’s not easy. But then again nothing worthwhile ever is.

In Part 2: Preparing For The Reckoning we forecast what is most likely to happen next as the current policies in play begin failing. How few years left of status quo can we enjoy before the repercussions become too painful to ignore?

What can we each do today to improve our own destiny tomorrow?

At tipping points like now, our future is dependent on the steps we take in the present.

Click here to read Part 2 of this report (free executive summary, enrollment required for full access).

Related content
» More

50 Comments

  • Fri, May 31, 2019 - 6:22pm

    #1

    Rector

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 07 2010

    Posts: 331

    12+

    "The Collapse"

    We eat dinner as a family almost every evening.  Sometimes I look at the bounty we have available and can’t help but think – “these are going to be the good old days”.  I then explain to my four kids that someday, when they are rooting through a dumpster, or fighting a pack of dogs for a dead goat carcass, they will look back on these meals of sushi, etc. with great fondness.  Much eye rolling ensues. . .

    I live every day with knowledge that we are blessed with a material abundance unmatched in human history – and it will end.

    Rector

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Fri, May 31, 2019 - 9:22pm

    #2

    Mark_BC

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 30 2010

    Posts: 311

    5+

    ‘It’s not having what you want, it is wanting what you’ve got.’

    ~ Sheryl Crow

    Lol I was literally thinking of those lyrics today.

    For years now people in the fringe have been warning that the longer the bubble lasts the worse it will pop. I think we’ll see an ugly pop. Those were some nice rounded peak oil scenarios above but I dont think there will be any mistaking the peak oil cliff when we hit it. So much oil production today is enabled by cheap credit and is not profitable. When the financial system crashes, oil production will crash because the financing for it will evaporate. Even high prices wont bring more out of the ground. And when the financial crash happens, so many people will be poor so they wont be able to afford it. Demand will drop. Price will rise. Production will tank.

    Peak oil and peak finance will crash as the same time. But hsrdke anyone has any idea peak oil is even a thing anymore. I have literally heard arguments here in Canada for developing the tar sands because they are “sustainable” jobs lol.

    I think the truth is being intentionally kept from the masses because there is nothing that can be done. It was discussed back in the 70’s but those concerns were ignored and we moved into the future without a plan other than to steal the rest of the world’s oil. “We” made that decision and now we will face the consequences. Thanks a lot, Reagan.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Fri, May 31, 2019 - 10:23pm

    #3
    Crapper

    Crapper

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 01 2019

    Posts: 12

    7+

    "Bill" had a wiser brother

    The parable is missing what Bill’s wiser brother (Tom) did. You see they were both hard working and looked after their families. But Tom observed so many other men being divorce raped by their wives so he set up a trust to hold all his wealth. And before he got married he signed a prenup with his new bride.

    She of course was resistant to this, saying “If you trust me you won’t need a prenup”. He replied “If you’re trustworthy you won’t mind signing one”. So she signed.

    Both their wives were friends, and after the seven year itch arrived, Bill’s wife was told by her lawyer “Kick him out the house, take all his wealth including his house, deny him custody of the children and blame it all on him for not being home when he was earning money to feed your family.”

    But Tom’s wife was told by her lawyer, “Oh dear, if you try this kind of crap, you lose everything but the children. But that won’t help you because if you don’t give him access he’ll just withhold support. And no, you cannot claim meaningful support through the courts because he’s just dumped his job and gone onto minimum wage. If you leave you condemn yourself to a life of abject poverty”. So she stuck by him like a responsible wife should have done.

    But the story doesn’t end there. Bill’s kids were a boy and girl and they followed the statistics of kids brought up by solo mums. The boy was 8x more likely to be a rapist and 20x more likely to end up in jail (and so he did). The girl was 10x more likely to be “promiscuous” (a slut) at an early age and 14x more likely to commit suicide (which she did).

    So the moral of this story, is for every man to protect themselves with a trust and prenup because men who don’t have a 50% of divorce rape and seeing their children destroyed.

    If you want resilience in your marriage and heirs… follow the example or wise Tom… not foolish Bill.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 6:30am

    Reply to #3

    Rector

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 07 2010

    Posts: 331

    18+

    That's one way to look at it. . .

    That was some dark and irrelevant commentary.  You should seek counseling and move on.

    Rector

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 9:55am

    #4

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    6+

    Interesting Choice For The Picture

    The Good Old Days – “focus on ones phone”.

    I see my grandchildren posing at various places taking selfies to share.  In my day we would have called that vanity.  Now its called friendship.

    Its all perspective.

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 5:58pm

    Reply to #3
    Crapper

    Crapper

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 01 2019

    Posts: 12

    3+

    Let me de-construct your snide comment Rector:

    Dark”? Post #1 speaks of “… rooting through a dumpster, or fighting a pack of dogs for a dead goat carcass” and post #2 draws attention to the pending catastrophe of peak oil. Relatively speaking, my post was hardly “dark” now was it? So it was something else that drew your response.

    Irrelevant”? This blog post begins with a parable that clearly suggests to the unbiased reader that it is reasonable for a wife to leave her responsible husband even if he has “… been pouring all his energy into his work to provide a very comfortable life for his wife and 2 children”. Why? Because “… she was unhappy and fell out of love”. What isn’t stated but under Western law and practice, Tom lost his children, wealth, income, home and had his life was destroyed. All justifiable because he’s not spending enough attention and time with her and so she “fell out of love”. You’re didn’t put much thought into your choice of words did you Rector?

    You should seek counselling and move on.” This wasn’t sincere advice was it? Be honest now, this was just a public slur. You give no reasoning or argument for your position. Nor did you give it the slightest reflection. It’s the typical response of the dumbed-down citizen who reflexively replies with a slur whenever a formidable and informed counter-argument is absent. It’s on the same level as the slurs of racism, homophobic, Islamaphobic, Misogynist etc. It’s to shut down opinion when an opposing argument is lacking, especially from those who’ve accepted programmed responses to articulated reasoning.

    Here’s a final little factoid for you: in Victoria (Australia), 50% of all male suicides are by men who have experienced the Family courts. And so while you gave no concern for the destruction 50% of all married men and their children, I gave a practical and legal avenue for men to protect their wealth and children; surely this is most “relevant” on a site like Peak Prosperity. My post advocated Family Trusts and Prenup’s and gives hope to those who have done the numbers and understand that modern marriage holds a destruction probability of 50% to the man.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 6:34pm

    #5

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    11+

    Rector is right

    “modern marriage holds a destruction probability of 50% to the man.“

    Statistically speaking a woman is most likely to be killed – by a male member of her family, most likely her husband or boyfriend.

    Gavin deBecker

    ”Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear rape or death.”

    Rector is right —  the post exudes anger and victimhood get some counseling and move on.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 6:34pm

    #6
    Uncletommy

    Uncletommy

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: May 03 2014

    Posts: 526

    On which horse would you put your money?

    Fifty – fifty odds? We’ve made it to 49 years, despite the odds. However, there is something to the old Shakespearean quote:

    “Bravery’s best component is careful choice; it is by exercising that careful choice that I survived.”

    Or for the less literary;

    “When considering a relationship dear;

    There’s only one thing to fear;

    When two become tight,

    It begs for a fight,

    So, be careful when phrasing, “yes, Dear!”

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 6:57pm

    Reply to #3

    Rector

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 07 2010

    Posts: 331

    6+

    Sorry.

    I’m sorry your personal life has taken this unfortunate turn, but I would never counsel a young man to put a prenup in front of his fiancé.  I cannot think of a more effective way to undercut the commitment that matrimony implies.  Marriage isn’t a contract – it’s a covenant.

    Post #1 was obvious hyperbole.

    Like I said, seek counseling and move on.

    Rector

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 7:11pm

    Reply to #5
    Crapper

    Crapper

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 01 2019

    Posts: 12

    4+

    Understanding basic math(s)

    AKGranyWGrit stated “Statistically speaking a woman is most likely to be killed – by a male member of her family, most likely her husband or boyfriend.”

    Well I say statistically a man is more likely to be trampled by an elephant than a woman (but really what matters is the chance YOU will be trampled by an elephant). In the same manner you should ask what is the chance YOU will killed by your husband.

    Statistically a child is more likely to be physically injured by the mother….  but statistically most mothers do NOT injure their children – and nor do most men kill their wives.

    But when a man can deduce that there’s a 50% statistical chance of being divorce-raped by his doting bride, which means losing everything, including his children, then it’s worth taking serious precautions if they’re available. And precautions ARE available.

    If you’re worried about being murdered by your husband then the precaution is to leave. If you’re worried about being trampled on by an elephant then the precaution is don’t become an elephant trainer. And if you’re a man thinking about getting married (or care about your son’s future) and you’re worried about becoming a 50% statistic in divorce rapes, then the precaution is to get a family trust and prenup.

    Oh… and if you cannot understand basic math(s) and apply numbers to life’s realities then go back to school. But DON’T prove you numerical illiteracy to an automation engineer.

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 7:20pm

    #7

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    6+

    Dear Crapper

    I will pray that you find effective ways to deal with your anger and hurt.  They must be great indeed.

    Most sincerely,

    Granny

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 7:31pm

    #8

    mememonkey

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Nov 01 2009

    Posts: 106

    7+

    One for the Crapper

    I also found your post distasteful and irrelevant to the thread, not because there are not myriad problems with the institution of marriage particularly in the context of our increasingly narcissistic culture and also disparities in how things are adjudicated between the sexes in Western Divorce law but because of the aggressively paternalistic tone with which you ‘parable raped’ an innocent parable to make your point which also reveals a belief system that appears to consider women chattel in the context of a marriage and somehow without agency in the absence of the “male provider” or evil ‘divorce raper’ attorney.

    You took a friendly parable that illustrates the importance of focusing on personal connection over materialism and projected on to that what appears to be a very emotional and personal issue of inequitable divorce. In so doing you managed to imprison Bill’s rapist son and kill Bills daughter but not before slut shaming her. So yes, that’s kind of dark.

    mm

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 8:57pm

    Reply to #8
    Crapper

    Crapper

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 01 2019

    Posts: 12

    1+

    To all men considering marriage and / or their sons

    Men. if you want defend your right to own property, wealth, income and live with your children then take my advice above if you intend to get into a relationship, whether it be marriage or de-facto. However if you want to chance your life and heirs on essentially what is a flip of a coin then take the advice of those who’ve taken exception to my post. Because if you choose the latter, you’re too stupid to be protected from your own stupidity.

    To my detractors: I have very high income, my own industrial automation business, a stable family who’s wealth is protected by a Family Trust and prenup. I live on acreage and hold three citizenships. I can only groan when you post such low IQ replies that I shake my head in disbelief. So here’s a simple question for you to complete in your head without calculator or pen/paper:

    What is the square root of sixteen, reciprocated, and expressed as a decimal. If you need more than 30 seconds to do this or you come up with the wrong answer then you’re in the bottom 50% of IQ. That’s nothing to be ashamed of because by definition 50% of the population must always be below average. But DON’T make public replies with reference to numbers or statistics when you’re too tragically stupid to know how stupid you are.

    LOL!

    I’m now logging off to enjoy the affections of my chattel and the company of my heirs.

    More LOL!

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 8:59pm

    #9
    Hotrod

    Hotrod

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 20 2009

    Posts: 162

    4+

    Old German Proverb

    My bachelor farmer German uncle (everyone should have one) drilled this into my head. “Yunga mach da augen auf, Hirot ist kine da farda kauf.”  Young man be cautious, Marriage is not horse trading.  I was lucky.  When my wife got the seven year itch she found out everything was in a family trust and untouchable.  Be careful out there.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 10:37pm

    Reply to #5

    Rector

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 07 2010

    Posts: 331

    4+

    I understand you better now

    and I think I might have some insight into the source of some of your relationship issues. But since you’re an automation engineer, I’m sure you have it all under control.  Being at the far right on the bell curve and all. . .

    Rector

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 10:48pm

    Reply to #8

    Rector

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 07 2010

    Posts: 331

    4+

    BTW 30 seconds?

    I can’t resist.

    30 seconds seems like a long time to solve your little pre-algebra problem. Might want to try something else if your trying to sort out who’s stupid and such. I didn’t even need a pencil!🤓

    Rector

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sat, Jun 01, 2019 - 11:11pm

    Reply to #8
    Crapper

    Crapper

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 01 2019

    Posts: 12

    2+

    Rector needs to brush up on his English Comprehension

    Ah Rector, but you didn’t give an answer. Perhaps a little doubt crept into your mind about your own math(s) abilities?  LOL.

    The question wasn’t to prove who’s stupid, it was to indicate to those who attempt the question if they’re in the bottom 50% in IQ – and I stated that’s there’s nothing to be ashamed of if indeed that’s the case. The answer had to be both correct AND within 30 seconds to get a pass. About 50% do pass so there’s nothing to boast about in getting it right.

    Your written reply should be worrying to you though – you couldn’t even comprehend a few simple sentences written in plain English.  What does that say about your IQ? Although you didn’t claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed, you have actually proved you’re one of the bluntest. Ouch!

     

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 1:13am

    #10
    Sparky1

    Sparky1

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jul 21 2016

    Posts: 56

    15+

    Justa Spark in a Crappy World

    Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin in trying to processes Mr. Crappy’s VERY dark missive regarding “divorce rape” of married men and the alleged societal and financial ills which he attributes to women/(ex)wives.  Crapper, I pray, pray, pray that your ex-wife and children are safe, far away and healed from the trauma of your toxic anger and victimhood. You provide “evidence” of your success/stability as your alleged wealth, acreage, and business acumen,  and even include a little “test” to assert your imagined superiority over any who dare to disagree with your point of view, disparaging them as “low IQ”.

    So that is your idea of success?? I know you’re new here, having joined PP just today (perhaps triggered to join so you could post your pearls of twisted wisdom…) but please do take some time to look through the site content and even spend some of your substantial wealth to buy the book, “Prosper” to gain further insight into the various dimensions of wealth.

    I’m an extremely private person and have overcome my aversion to social media to join the Peak Prosperity community trying to make sense of and prosper in a really crappy world; ideally to make a world and “future worth inheriting.”  I am a single mother, having successfully raised three very young children (including one with Autism) by myself after Mr. decided marriage and parenthood was too “stressful”. The courts decided that, unlike Mr., I had “earning potential” even though I was temporarily unemployed at the time, and awarded Mr. spousal support that exceeded the (pitiful) child support that he reluctantly provided via wage garnishment. In 20 years with unlimited visitation, he visited only nine days total. Mr. was awarded two of the three properties we jointly held during marriage, and he retained via devious means more than $100,000 from jointly held funds.

    Every day, I struggled to keep my children fed and clothed, lights and heat on, and made parenting and supporting my children my highest priority even while working very stressful but rewarding jobs that paid above average income. Fast forward, today I have GREAT relationships with my now-adult children (albeit, the one with Autism is a lifetime “work in progress”), all of whom have grown to be productive, college educated and inspiring adults–not a rapist, jailbird, “slut” or suicide in the bunch!! 😉  They maintain authentic, healthy relationships, rewarding careers and strive towards sustainable living as productive and caring citizens.

    So, yeah: sh*t happens. Am I the female counterpart to your “divorce-rape” male victim? Absolutely not!!! I am blessed! Everyday I THANK GOD that I was able to live and raise my children without the undue influence of a very toxic spouse.

    Your original post and subsequent posts are truly disturbing.  I appreciated the very insightful and appropriate responses from Rector, Mememonkey and AKGrannyWGrit. Still, six PP members gave your original post a “thumbs-up”, which I found really disheartening….  Rector’s advice is sound:  get counseling and move on.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 1:32am

    #11

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    7+

    Well said Sparky1

    Thank you for sharing!

    Question for admin –

    So, on this new platform how do we block people that we feel bring no value to a conversation?

    Granny

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 1:35am

    #12

    davefairtex

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Sep 03 2008

    Posts: 3207

    7+

    interesting questions

    Marriage is both a covenant and a contract – but for those who aren’t religious, it is much more of a contract.  And when it comes to dividing property – that “contract” aspect looms quite large.

    I went into business with someone and didn’t have an exit plan spelled out in the agreement.  This turned out to be a grave error – causing me no end of trouble.  I will never make this mistake again.  If the exit plan had been spelled out, the costs it would have imposed would have focused everyone on staying together, rather than giving people the mistaken idea that they had a cost-free ability to take advantage of me.

    I feel that Mr Crapper’s presentation was quite dark, but the theory behind it was largely sound.  Laying out what an exit looks like will set everyone’s expectations properly, and I believe, it will encourage people to stay together.

    However, if Mr Crapper is actually seeking to persuade, I do have a suggestion: lose the tone, while providing the same information.  My claim: if you are nicer about the presentation, this will end up persuading more people, because they won’t have to wade through the…crapper…to get to the good stuff buried within.

    Of course, if persuasion isn’t the goal, then … never mind…

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 2:41am

    #13
    fated

    fated

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 16 2014

    Posts: 52

    10+

    Gratitude - is an attitude

    Crapper –  As you are new here I found your initial post and attitudes to be worthy of examination. Reading your further posts which include boasting and judging people in public solely by their IQ, I know you hold values dissimilar to mine.  I am paid lowly, I work with the elderly and disabled, my little wealth comes from inheritance and hard work, my house is small, and old, and in need of repairs regularly. I trust my husband, buy my kids clothes from the op-shop, and gift things forward to my neighbours’ grand-kids. I chose an older car my hubby can fix. I know how to cook, mend, create, scavenge, barter and build. I know my neighbours and am active in many local clubs. I volunteer my time. I find kids and people interesting and entertaining. I find gratitude every day that I am young, fit enough, and healthy, unlike many of my clients.  I am wealthy enough to travel occasionally and enjoy hobbies of my choosing, unlike many of my poorer clients. I enjoy the birds and critters in my little veggie patch, lament the apples I left to rot on the ground (a sign of overabundance) and enjoy the simple things in life.  Your posts seem to display no grattitude for the wealth of things and fortune you claim to own. You boast of multiple citizenships – useless if you show no grattitude for people wherever you are.  I see only negative emotions.  I’m not naive. I’ve spent time in Sowetto and Johannesberg, read Gavin DeBecker’s books, nearly died multiple times in the last few years, and had a friend nearly murdered by their ex.  Anyone in a well off country, with freedom of speech, health, good food, land, and assets, who is taken to the cleaners by their ex needs to take a grattitude check and move on in life.  Not all men are innocents, and not all women are conniving bitches. It pays to treat people on their individual merits, and practice grattitude.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 5:37am

    #14

    Oliveoilguy

    Status Silver Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 29 2012

    Posts: 535

    13+

    Use your tools productively....Choose wisely

    This thread has gone down an ugly rabbit hole but it perfectly illustrates my takeaway from the original post.

    We need to use the tools at our disposal in a judicious manner, because  those tools will not be available for much longer.

    * instead of using screen time on divisive arguments, use it to research something productive

    *instead of using precious gasoline to go on a “road trip” use it to haul manure for your gardens and building materials for that sustainable project.

    *instead of buying a stereo system for your house, buy an acoustic guitar that will comfort you no matter what the world decides to do and whether there is power or not.

    *instead of eating junk food because your time is limited, go on a short fast and wait for some real food to become available.

    Every decision you make and action you take can be productive or destructive. Choose wisely.

     

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 6:13am

    Reply to #9

    Mark_BC

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 30 2010

    Posts: 311

    3+

    When my wife got the seven year itch she found out everything was in a family trust and untouchable.

    And don’t let your significant other know if you have a buried treasure of precious metals!

    As to being divorce raped, it goes both ways. Sometimes the man gets shafted and sometimes the women does. What’s interesting about human nature is that we tend to then extrapolate from one situation where a man got shafted by an ex and then presume that this always happens. This is a result of narrow minded thinking and leads to things like racism and xenophobia, and lots of other social ills. If I got robbed by a black man, than all black men are criminals.

    My sister went through a messy separation and he ended up with a large support payment bill. But she has their son in the week and can’t hold a normal job. And she gave up years not working and put her career on hold. He is being a total dink about the situation and tries to get sole custody and cut her off from all access to the child. She had breast cancer and couldn’t work for a few months during treatment so she set up a go fund me account to pay the bills for a few months. He then actually went to court and argued that the money she received from donations should be subtracted from his monthly support, and that he should have sole custody. Of course he got laughed out of court, I don’t think his lawyer can stomach working with him. He sets himself up for his failure. And he refuses to get a divorce because then he won’t be able to play the system anymore, they’d have to come to an agreement. Meanwhile he got another girl pregnant (he’s gay so I’m not sure what’s going on there).

    Anyways, I agree with crapper that protecting oneself before going into a union like marriage is a good idea even though he does have quite an arrogant way of getting that message across.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 8:34am

    #15
    Tude

    Tude

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 01 2017

    Posts: 8

    3+

    Math

    I just want to say that I mostly supported you Crapper when I read the original posts last night. But this morning I see you ridiculing people that don’t have advanced math skills as “low IQ”. Well, some of us grew up poor, had to drop out of school, were told all our childhood to not worry about learning math because girls aren’t good at it…yet are extremely intelligent and successful humans. Someone, for whatever reason, not being able to do your math equation in 30 seconds says absolutely nothing about their intelligence. I work at a top university and know many math and physics geniuses that are basically morons. I out perform most people with advanced degrees in the “sciences” in my career in IT. While I actually agree with some of what you have said, you might want to consider that you might actually the one with the stunted imagination and intelligence. I find that typically those with the need to ridicule others are actually projecting their own insecurities.

    • Add to Phrasebook
      • No word lists for English -> English…
      • Create a new word list…
    • Copy

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 9:52am

    #16

    Michael_Rudmin

    Status Gold Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 25 2014

    Posts: 874

    1+

    Putting in my two bits... you are as good as your name.

    John,
    I happened to be in a high school where the math teacher trained fast math; in fact, he paid one of my father’s former students to protoboard a electronic game-show device, and began VACE (Virginia Academic Competition for Excellence), which was one of the first televised high school game shows in the area.

    The breadboard version included pushbutton switches in film canisters, and was done before school as a fun thing for bonus points and kudos; when it went live, it had nice screen-printed acrylic bezels and large push buttons, large automotive lights.

    You will know from my topic heading that I found your quik-math to be no problem.

    And I, too am an engineer.

    But I agree with the others here that you are coming off as arrogant, first that your own intelligence is the only kind that is of value (did you never learn about the different kinds of intelligence?) and that intelligence is the only virtue worth having (how do you think we have all these successful species of animal… and plant… and prokaryote… and more? And have you never observed the communication among other life forms, and even other interspecies communication, and considered that your own is extremely limited?)

    So I agree… please check arrogance at the door, so that you can improve your tone. If you do that, I would be VERY interested to hear about your industrial automation, and what you do.

    I think such things are neat, and I could even imagine a next great use for it… but the use depends on what the type of automation is. There are so many kinds.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 11:03am

    #17

    Michael_Rudmin

    Status Gold Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 25 2014

    Posts: 874

    1+

    do we have a graph of ...?

    I see a graph of oil production; but I don’t see a graph of oil energy gain, which might be more useful in understanding where we are.

    Does such a graph exist? Is it possible to find the list of oil retrieval by type, and conflate that with EROEI to get oil energy gain?

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 2:45pm

    Reply to #3

    Barbara

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Dec 15 2009

    Posts: 30

    6+

    Working women might demand prenups too

    Being stuck in a community property state and watching trophy wives of the 60’s-70’s abscond with the family fortune, I can see the need for a prenup.  I, a working woman, insisted on one because I simply don’t agree that the government should decide how a family splits financial and childcare duties.
    Before getting married people should probably be required to sit down and decide how to split the finances, what to do with the kids [during marriage and after divorce], etc.  Mariage rates would fall a bit, but so would divorce rates.

    I may be reading between the lines on the original comment, but I assume Bill had decided to keep his wife bored at home rather than letting her enter the world of functional adults.  As long as successful men have the trophy wife model of marriage,  in which statistics also say they trade them in for a younger model every few years, then men should not be surprised when “Bill’s wife” is the model for the women they marry.

    Might such men actually consider competent professional women who don’t need the guy to work himself into the ground to support them?  If marriage is between two equals, both with business sense, then a prenup that forces discussion of all those hard questions is a great thing.  It’s not a “you don’t trust me”, it’s a “have we thought about how we each think/feel about these important issues?”

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 6:21pm

    Reply to #3
    dan314159

    dan314159

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Oct 08 2016

    Posts: 2

    Truth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZTOT6DKfZ8

    Women initiate >70% of divorces. They take the assets, the man’s future income, and his kids.

    [Sentence deleted by moderator. Please restate your point here in a data-driven way that is not intentionally inflammatory]

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 7:01pm

    #18

    Adam Taggart

    Status Platinum Member (Offline)

    Joined: May 25 2009

    Posts: 2639

    9+

    This Thread Dangerously Close To Getting Moderated

    Wow. I did *not* expect this article to stir up the acrimony it has.

    Folks, several posts here come close to or actually cross the guidelines of civil discourse we guard protectively on this site.

    This is notice to everyone to review these guidelines, and if triggered by another commenter’s words, pause a beat before responding.

    While not the point of the original article, if you want to debate the merits/shortcomings of our modern marital system — have at it. But argue with logic and data, without denigrating another individual or demonizing an entire gender.

    Several posts in this thread violate our rules against ad hominem attacks, abuse, bloviating, irrelevance and inappropriateness (yes, we define each one of those infringement types on our site posting guidelines page). If that continues, the heavy hand of the moderators will be invoked.

    But I’m hoping that won’t be necessary. Peak Prosperity is an amazing rare community where intelligent folks can maturely debate their differences with logic and evidence, without devolving into the feral moshpit seen on so many other discussion boards littering the internet.

    I have faith this community will follow its better nature and keep things respectful.

    Don’t let us down.

    cheers,
    A

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Sun, Jun 02, 2019 - 10:00pm

    Reply to #3

    davefairtex

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Sep 03 2008

    Posts: 3207

    1+

    framework for discussion

    If marriage is between two equals, both with business sense, then a prenup that forces discussion of all those hard questions is a great thing. It’s not a “you don’t trust me”, it’s a “have we thought about how we each think/feel about these important issues?”

    This makes the most sense to me.  If you haven’t gone through something before, then you’re in an unknown-unknown situation.  You don’t know what you don’t know.  And hopefully the discussion of a prenup can provide a framework to surface, and then think through these issues together.

    This discussion caused me to read about divorce.  Here’s an interesting article – it supports the statistic that mostly it is women who initiate.  It also tries to explain why that is.

    https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/why-do-women-initiate-divorce-more-than-men/

    Women seek closeness and vulnerability in marriage where, under the veil of marriage, it is safe to be real and raw with our chosen one, or soul mate. When she reaches out for that connected feeling and is met with the “wrong” response, she lays a brick down. Then one day, the wall is too high to penetrate it.

    In its simplest form, women want connection but don’t know that’s what they want, so the men need to read their minds. This is where the communication breakdown often occurs. Women not saying what it is they want, and men completely not “getting it.” So the wall goes up.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 12:10am

    #19

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    2+

    Dave

    Women not saying what it is they want, and men completely not “getting it.” So the wall goes up.

    • Translation – men are clueless victims and if only women would get their shit together?
    •  Come on Dave? Blame and victims a perpetual hamster wheel!

    AKGranny

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 12:29am

    #20
    Sparky1

    Sparky1

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jul 21 2016

    Posts: 56

    1+

    It's Complicated: Data for digging deeper down the divorce rabbit hole

    Dave, I think it may be a bit more complicated than simply a failure to communicate whereby “…women want connection but don’t know that’s what they want, so the men need to read their minds.”

    For those who want to dig deeper down this rabbit hole, here are two resources that may be of interest:

    https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

    https://www.pewresearch.org/search/divorce

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 12:47am

    Reply to #19

    davefairtex

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Sep 03 2008

    Posts: 3207

    2+

    pick another article?

    Granny-

     

    Come on Dave? Blame and victims a perpetual hamster wheel!

     

    I invite you to find and present another article which you believe explains it better.

    Certainly being a woman you may well have some insight as to what might lie behind that 69% statistic – which I found interesting, because it was something I didn’t know before.

    I’m thinking that 69% number supports the case that men are statistically more oblivious to changes in the underlying relationship.  Intentionally or not, that’s what the original post seemed to be saying also.

    I’m in the middle of reading a book on Roman history – SPQR, by Mary Beard, an excellent book for sure – and back then, the amount of violence in daily life was pretty extreme by modern standards.  Rome – the pinnacle of Western Civilization back then – had no police force.  So if someone stole from you, you pretty much had to deal with it on  your own.  If someone tried to murder you, you just had your friends and family to rely on to protect you – and/or extract revenge.

    I’m just guessing that the epigenetic & genetic effects of that way of life resulted in our modern world.  Those who were able to dish out violence to protect those they loved survived to reproduce, and so guess where we find ourselves today?

    Its just a thought anyway.  That’s not blame – but the effects of that history remains in our genetic (and epigenetic) code, and we ignore it at our peril.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 1:10am

    #21
    Ejohnson

    Ejohnson

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Oct 26 2018

    Posts: 15

    10+

    resilience in marraige

    Marriage is always between two equals, whether or not both parties recognize the fact.

    In this discussion, what is the resolution we are trying to get to in the context of the article? Isn’t it finding the type of marriage that will be resilient in the face of hardship, especially hardship of the monumental nature discussed on this site? According to a Citibank survey, 57% of divorced couples cited money as a primary factor in their decision. I understand the necessity of discussing finances, my wife and I certainly did before we married. The framework for our discussion was how our possessions would be merged and shared (granted they were minimal at the time).

    As Davefairtex quoted above, “Women seek closeness and vulnerability in marriage where, under the veil of marriage, it is safe to be real and raw with our chosen one, or soul mate. When she reaches out for that connected feeling and is met with the “wrong” response, she lays a brick down. Then one day, the wall is too high to penetrate it.” In my opinion, deliberately choosing not to enter into financial vulnerability (at a mutually agreed level) lays the first brick in that wall before the marriage even begins.

    Due to our personal beliefs, we entered a mutual agreement that divorce was not an option for us. Not to be kept in the back of our minds as an escape route, never to be used as a threat when we argue.

    I’m thankful that an intelligent, kind and thoughtful woman has chosen to love me, even when I am unlovable. I choose to love her daily as well, even with all her very human faults. Being in love is a feeling, and like all feelings is a response to external stimuli. Of course we feel this way frequently, but when we inevitably don’t, we fall back on that choice taken freely. My choice to love is most critical in the moments I don’t feel love. Then as the world changes dramatically under our feet over the next decades, for better and worse, I know we can rely on our commitment, and not roll the dice on our emotional states.

    I’m celebrating my 10th anniversary this month, so I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot lately. We’ve seen friends and relatives who married about the same time as us divorce, and others stay together, and I have been pondering the why. Please excuse the rambling, but this thread brought up a lot of thoughts.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 1:37am

    Reply to #20

    davefairtex

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Sep 03 2008

    Posts: 3207

    1+

    data from divorce attorneys

    Sparky-

    I enjoyed your statistics.  As you say, there are a lot of moving parts.  I found it especially interesting that the “contagion factor” (friend getting divorced, parents getting divorced) increased the likelihood of you divorcing.  It makes sense, but it is fascinating to see just how strong the effect really is.

    I also liked the “divorce rate by profession”.  Those Agricultural Engineers – who knows why they are so stable.  Maybe its something about being around plants all day long.

    Ultimately, I like your stats for this reason.  If the goal is to focus on our own experiences, we can look at the risk factors that statistics helps to provide and try to mitigate or at least be aware of their impacts in our own lives.

    * mismatch in alcohol consumption

    * frequent arguing about finances

    * mismatch in smoking behavior

    * incarceration (!)

    * below-average IQ

    * did not attend college

    * liberal

    * married before 18

    * straight couple

    * US Navy Seal

    * living in a Red state

    * no religious affiliation

    * living together before marriage

    * met in a bar

    * woman works, husband doesn’t help with the kids

    * facebook, porn, video games

    * child of divorce

    * friend who recently got divorced

    * don’t have kids

    * have a baby before marriage

    * income below $25k

    * no assets

    So a bad candidate for a husband: US Navy Seal, with no assets, no kids, met before you were 18, living in a red state, liberal, no religious affiliation, smokes, drinks, with whom you argue about finances frequently, a child of divorce, who watches porn, plays video games and facebook, whom you met in a bar.  If he gets sent off to jail, that’s just the cherry on the top.

    Heh.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 4:30am

    #22

    AKGrannyWGrit

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 06 2011

    Posts: 469

    7+

    Okay Dave

    “Sadly, it increasingly seems that in order to be successful, narcissism helps. Leaders and politicians who are bullies often get the most attention and the biggest paychecks. Our system is set up this way. It works in our society. There is no room for compassion. All the ethical people I know are broke.

    If I could get every divorced woman to pick up this book, my guess is that the majority will have witnessed many of these patterns. Because one place where narcissism doesn’t work is in relationships—if you are on the receiving end. If you want the fancy car, the fancy house, and the big wallet, be prepared for what you are signing up for. Great material providers are often not empathetic partners.”

    The book Dr. Durvasala refers to is “Should I stay or should I go?”

    This thread has had a mysogysnistic tone started by Crapper and I have found it distasteful.  It’s interesting that Crapper ended a post with –

    “I am now logging off to enjoy the affections of my chattel and the company of my heirs   LOL”

    “The definition of chattel – a personal possession, an item owned other than property”

    It’s NOT funny to refer to ones partner as property.  And especially after a long rant about divorce rape with thumbs up.  Think she feels respected, any wonder Mrs. Ex wasn’t happy? Interesting no guys picked up on that.

    From a female reader misogyny seems to be thriving, sadly.

     

    AKGranny

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 4:35am

    Reply to #21
    VeganDB12

    VeganDB12

    Status Bronze Member (Online)

    Joined: Jul 18 2008

    Posts: 112

    4+

    love is a feeling and an action

    In our current society I think we are encouraged to just worry about the feeling.  As someone who reads up on relationships (being a woman many of us do) I like the notion of marriage given by my favorite Jungian analyst CP Estes.   She calls it an orchard (producing much)  but also points out that it has a series of life cycles and relationships within the larger relationship in a “life death life” cycle. The marriage cannot help but change in fundamental ways over the years.  Partners who cannot recognize this and are afraid to see the “old marriage” die and the new one emerge in the same relationship run into trouble.

    You point out that love is an act as well as a feeling and I agree.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 4:58am

    Reply to #22

    davefairtex

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Sep 03 2008

    Posts: 3207

    5+

    stats vs guesses

    Granny-

    I would agree that narcissists make for great providers, and terrible partners.  I can’t reliably diagnose someone as having NPD from my armchair 3,000 miles away, but I would agree that someone who is angry enough to write Mr Crapper’s post would probably not be my ideal mate, nor would I choose him for my sister’s mate.  Or for my Mom, were she still alive.  My advice: go for a lesser provider, but the more compassionate person.  You’ll live longer, and have a happier life.  My two cents.

    That said – I still think the structure of writing a prenup to sort out the property issues ahead of time while everyone is in a good mood is probably a good idea.  That one bit of advice would have saved me a world of trouble…I actually got said advice, but didn’t quite understand why, so I didn’t follow it up.

    I sure do now.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 8:39am

    #23
    Sparky1

    Sparky1

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jul 21 2016

    Posts: 56

    4+

    Resilience and Relationships

    Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute(https://www.gottman.com/about/research/) describes the factors contributing to divorce as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling). His blog (https://www.gottman.com/blog/),  trainings and products based on his lifetime research into relationships provide positive, actionable approaches to maintaining healthy marriages. [Disclosure: I have no personal experience or professional/financial interests in the Gottman Institute and/or its methods.]

    I also found Crapper’s and a very few others’ posts on this thread misogynistic. Now I  appreciate more fully PP guidelines for civil discourse.  I suspect Crapper rides those four horses frequently and hard given the “tone” of his posts.  On the positive side, his posts compelled me and other less-frequent posters to contribute, along with “regular” PP contributors, to this far-ranging, thought-provoking discussion.

    Missing from this discussion is research concerning some of the “protective” benefits of marriage, relationships and community.  Here’s an article with embedded links for those who want to explore this further: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

    May we all “live long and “Prosper!”‘ in a world worth inheriting.   🖖 🌎

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 9:34am

    Reply to #23

    Adam Taggart

    Status Platinum Member (Offline)

    Joined: May 25 2009

    Posts: 2639

    5+

    Gottman's relationship insights

    Sparky –

    Thanks for bringing up Gottman’s research.

    Anyone who didn’t read our article Dealing With Disappointment back in December should do so now. It’s extremely germane to the direction this thread has taken and goes into the 4 Horsemen in depth.

    Also, it’s companion premium report How To Manage Conflict & Build Relationships That Last is a *very* detailed summary of Gottman’s best practices for maintaining good relationships with those you care about. At the risk of sounding vain, I think it’s one of the most useful and valuable pieces I’ve ever published.

    cheers,

    A

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Mon, Jun 03, 2019 - 11:09am

    Reply to #19
    jennifersam07

    jennifersam07

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Oct 14 2012

    Posts: 115

    9+

    Gender communications

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Tue, Jun 04, 2019 - 9:47am

    Reply to #19
    CrisisMode

    CrisisMode

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Dec 21 2011

    Posts: 29

    Love it!

     

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Tue, Jun 04, 2019 - 2:00pm

    #24
    Steve

    Steve

    Status Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 27 2009

    Posts: 21

    Big day for the markets.

    Dow rises 512.4 to 25,332.18.  The Plunge Protection Team has clearly had enough, for now, and demonstrates it’s ability to move the markets!  Silver & Gold up as well.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Thu, Jun 06, 2019 - 5:08pm

    Reply to #3

    Bytesmiths

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 28 2008

    Posts: 142

    1+

    They're both stupid

    Yea, Tom’s wife hung around in resentful servitude. She got tired of his emotional detachment, and started dating on the side. She found that all those men were scum, but didn’t put that together with the fact that men who are willing to date a married women are scum! Since Tom was so niggardly, and “all men were scum,” she began turning tricks for spending change. One of them gave her AIDS, which she passed on to Tom. Foolishly thinking himself immune to “gay” disease, Tom did not get help soon enough, and died in his late 40s, leaving his trust to… his widow.

    Tom and Bill have another brother!

    Fred always knew the meaning of “just enough.” He could see the economy going south, and no future in bits of paper with dead presidents on them. He and his wife bought a small farm, and worked side-by-side, sharing their hopes and dreams, shedding tears together through livestock deaths and crop failures, becoming each others best friends. They fed their family using organic Permaculture techniques, eventually going mostly off-grid.

    Then the crash happens. Tom’s dead already, Bill jumped out of his 42nd floor office window when his life savings evaporated overnight, and Fred’s family had to tighten their belts when they could no longer afford gasoline or electricity. But at least they ate well.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Thu, Jun 06, 2019 - 5:20pm

    Reply to #14

    Bytesmiths

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 28 2008

    Posts: 142

    2+

    No, I've earned the trip!

    <blockquote>*instead of using precious gasoline to go on a “road trip” use it to haul manure for your gardens and building materials for that sustainable project.</blockquote>My spouse and I have hauled manure for five long, hard years, doing small-scale commercial organic farming and saving just a bit each year.

    She has never been to the Grand Canyon, and I promised it to her — camping from a 20-year-old diesel Jetta that gets 50 mpg, and whose first tank will be biodiesel we make.

    Then we’ll go back to hauling manure, with some beautiful memories to cherish.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Thu, Jun 06, 2019 - 5:34pm

    Reply to #20

    Bytesmiths

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 28 2008

    Posts: 142

    2+

    <blockquote>I also liked the “divorce rate by profession”. Those Agricultural Engineers – who knows why they are so stable. Maybe its something about being around plants all day long.</blockquote>Maybe it has something to do with limited choices.

    According to Dan Gilbert of MIT, “The reversible condition is not conducive to the synthesis of happiness.”

    The very option of divorce itself is enough to keep people from happiness! Who would have thought?

    But when a couple are wedded to each other and the land, they have limited choice. Perhaps that makes them look for happiness in what they have, rather than seeking it by pursuing that which they do not have.

    Dan Gilbert has changed my life. I used to think choice was good; now, I look for ways to limit choice in my life — including in my relationships with people.

    If, when you see a bridge, all you see is its dollar value, you only have that to lose if you burn it. But if you see it as a way to the other side, then it is priceless, and worth preserving.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Thu, Jun 06, 2019 - 5:43pm

    Reply to #19

    Bytesmiths

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 28 2008

    Posts: 142

    3+

    More Gender Communications

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Thu, Jun 06, 2019 - 5:50pm

    Reply to #23

    Bytesmiths

    Status Bronze Member (Offline)

    Joined: Apr 28 2008

    Posts: 142

    4+

    My Gottman "take away"

    I like Gottman’s notion of “bids.” When someone present you with an emotional opening, you turn toward it, be neutral, or turn away.

    Before reading Gottman, I suspect I ignored most emotional bids — because I did not even notice them. But now, I listen for bids, and work to respond appropriately.

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Fri, Jun 07, 2019 - 6:26am

    #25

    Chris Martenson

    Status Platinum Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 07 2007

    Posts: 4738

    3+

    The Nothing Box

    I feel this is a valuable tool for developing understanding between the sexes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

    Login or Register to post comments

  • Tue, Jun 11, 2019 - 5:30am

    Reply to #19

    KugsCheese

    Status Gold Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jan 01 2010

    Posts: 844

    Re: More Gender Communications

    He Dissociated.  That is very serious.  He could be a Cluster B Personality Disorder.

    Login or Register to post comments

Login or Register to post comments