Twenty Economic Models Explained

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rowmat's picture
rowmat
Status: Gold Member (Offline)
Joined: Nov 15 2008
Posts: 358
Twenty Economic Models Explained

SOCIALISM                                  
        You have 2 cows.
        You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
        You have 2 cows.
        The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
        You have 2 cows.
        The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
        You have 2 cows.
        The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
        You have 2 cows.
        The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
        You have two cows.
        You sell one and buy a bull.
        Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
        You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
        You have two giraffes.
        The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
        Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
        
You have two cows.
        You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute
         debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
        The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
        sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
        The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
        You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
        No balance sheet provided with the release.
        The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
        You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
        You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You count them and learn you have five cows.
        You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
        You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
        You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
        You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
        You charge the owners for storing  them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You have 300 people milking them.
        You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
        You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
         Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
        You tell them that you have none.
        No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
        You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        Business seems pretty good.
        You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
        You have two cows.
        The one on the left looks very attractive.

JAG's picture
JAG
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Oct 26 2008
Posts: 2492
Re: Twenty Economic Models Explained

Holy Cow! That was funny.....thanks for the laughs rowmat.

Bernanke has 3 cows, but all three are made of paper...

Full Moon's picture
Full Moon
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Oct 14 2008
Posts: 1258
Re: Twenty Economic Models Explained

 Funny stuff you guys... Made my day !

wbogle's picture
wbogle
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Joined: Aug 29 2009
Posts: 9
Re: Twenty Economic Models Explained

Very Funny. Laughing

DrKrbyLuv's picture
DrKrbyLuv
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Aug 10 2008
Posts: 1995
Re: Twenty Economic Models Explained

DEMOCRACY:   You have two cows.  Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPUBLIC:  You have two cows.  Both are your private property as is their milk.

Thanks for the funny posts!

Larry

docmims's picture
docmims
Status: Platinum Member (Offline)
Joined: Jun 17 2009
Posts: 644
Re: Twenty Economic Models Explained

I thought that was very CHEESY!Surprised

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