My Frantic Americans - A Fireside Chat

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ashvinp's picture
Status: Gold Member (Offline)
Joined: Jan 20 2010
Posts: 412
My Frantic Americans - A Fireside Chat

Today is just one of those days where I felt like I needed to blow off some steam and share my thoughts with people who understand what's going on. The fact that the Fed has been leaking material, non-public information to rich investors like Bill Gross didn't help either -

Anyway, here is what I would say if I was the President and had a chance to give a fireside chat over the radio, like FDR back in the 1930s:


My Frantic Americans, this is your President speaking. I would like to inform the American citizens about the state of their union in this most unfortunate year, 2010. Please, make sure the elderly, weak or infirm in your household are sitting down... in fact, just make sure everyone is sitting down and adequately restrained. What I'm going to tell you is the cold, hard, ugly truth, and I'm telling it to you over the radio so you will have absolutely no idea where I am located. And just so you all know, my calm tone in this speech is not an accurate reflection of how I actually feel, because, man, I'm FREAKING OUT! The state of your union is worse than it has ever been since 1861, and it's only gonna get worse... much worse. Anyway, let me break down the situation for you in the simplest terms possible.

Full piece -

SagerXX's picture
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Feb 11 2009
Posts: 2252
Re: My Frantic Americans - A Fireside Chat

Hey Ash --

Thanks for a number of much-needed laughs.  (Just finished a looong workday.) 

If only we could get a fireside chat like this one.  Heck, I'd pay money to watch it on PPV and record it on my VHS for future replays.  (Yeah, that's right, I don't have a DV-R...)

Viva -- Sager

land2341's picture
Status: Gold Member (Offline)
Joined: Aug 20 2009
Posts: 402
Re: My Frantic Americans - A Fireside Chat

That is so not funny I laughed until I cried.  Cry   Too true to not be funny,  too true to be funny.

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