How to control your feelings !!

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cipher's picture
cipher
Status: Bronze Member (Offline)
Joined: Jun 19 2009
Posts: 51
How to control your feelings !!

Hello all,

I wanted to know how everyone else control their feeling of anger towards bankers or the system where their 401(k)  is not safe, bankers get gigantic bonuses for looting, people are jobless and govt. is planning of fighiting another war, Obama accepts "peace" prize after sending in more troops ............... I get so annoyed that I have to stop reading or watching and calm myself down. .............

Am I alone?

I don't even know why I feel so angry, I just graduated out of school and have absolutely nothing much as saving, no house , no car , no nothing really to loose.I am just an immigrant who has been in US for 4 years.

And I know that I will go back to from where I came, when this all unravels!

I also sometimes feel very wierd when I finish reading an article and realize that all this has no effect on life around me, even if I mention a part of it to others, they look at me as if I have just finished watching some 2012 movie  ...........

How can people here be so ignorant !!

On top of all this I have tried (like many others in the community) to talk to near and dears, Nope ........ they won't listen and I am already a branded a moron :( .............. 

I just wanted to know if I am over-reacting !!

 

Crash's picture
Crash
Status: Silver Member (Offline)
Joined: Nov 26 2008
Posts: 171
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Hi there,

you are certainly not alone.

Anger is useful because it highlights things in our lives which need to change. It is possible to channel the energy behind anger and direct it towards positive action which manifests real transformation in our lives. When we are thus usefully occupied we learn to accept that there is only so much we can do. We do that much and feel satisfied that we have done it. If we do so much and still feel angry than there is more that we could be doing and more that we could be accepting.

hugs

Crash.

jrf29's picture
jrf29
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Joined: Apr 18 2008
Posts: 453
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Don't take things too seriously.  Accept the world as it is, and be at peace with yourself.  Life is a game.  This doesn't mean you shouldn't fight hard to change the world if you can, but while you're waiting for the world to change, let your blood pressure come down. 

There's an enormous amount of evil in the world -- enough to keep you angry for many lifetimes.  But there's also an enormous amount of good out there.  Put on the rose-colored glasses every once in a while, and you'll be surprized at how many nice things the world has to offer.

A. M.'s picture
A. M.
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Oct 22 2008
Posts: 2367
Re: How to control your feelings !!

JRF,

That's great advice no matter what you believe.

Cheers!

Aaron

rowmat's picture
rowmat
Status: Gold Member (Offline)
Joined: Nov 15 2008
Posts: 358
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Start a website...

http://hangabanker.com/ Wink

Johnny Oxygen's picture
Johnny Oxygen
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Sep 9 2009
Posts: 1443
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Cipher.

Your in shock. You just got a big dose of the red pill and it takes a while to sink in. Things have always been this way it's just that its more obvious to you now.

Put you energy into using it to your advantage by preparing as best you can. IMHO trying to convert people is a waste of time. Those that feel something is up will investigate and those that watch CNBC only see green shoots.

SagerXX's picture
SagerXX
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Feb 11 2009
Posts: 2219
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Good advice from the above posters.  At the risk of reiterating what's already been said:  use the energy in your emotions to Go Do Something.  Whether personal prep, joining a group that's working on an aspect of the 3Es, or something else -- get busy.  As one of my mentors told me:  "Use your emotions around this as a whetstone to hone your intent down to a razor edge."  Figuring out what one's intent should be in the hard work, IMO (and it's personal to each individual).  Good luck!

Viva -- Sager

nb:  edited for grammar

cipher's picture
cipher
Status: Bronze Member (Offline)
Joined: Jun 19 2009
Posts: 51
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Thanks Guys for the wonderful advice.

Crash, you're spot-on there, I feel that I can do more but I failed at telling others to start working on improving things around them. That's probably the reason I feel unsatisfied and maybe for the same reason, angry at times when I feel like a wingless chicken watching everything unraveling.

I take it that I cannot control what others do and think, so JhonyOxygen is right, I can try to talk to only those who are open to talking and otherwise prepare myself for it.

The only problem is that I need my family to work with me on this, I can't do it all alone, I hopefully will be able to convince them to atleast talk about why it doesn't make sense to them ! ....... until then I will have to do whatever little I can.

jrf29, that really is some quality advice. One can be angry all day if we just look at the bad and the unfair.

Maybe I can find a group in my area, with whom I can work and provide some help and earn some calm of mind for myself in the process. (thanks Sager)

I am glad that I put this post out.

Thanks all.

 

 

pinecarr's picture
pinecarr
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Apr 13 2008
Posts: 2237
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Cipher, good thread.

Sager wrote:

"As one of my mentors told me:  "Use your emotions around this as a whetstone to hone your intent down to a razor edge."  Figuring out what one's intent should be in the hard work, IMO (and it's personal to each individual). "

I never quite thought of it that way, Sager!  Figuring out one's intent is different (a step away) from setting a goal, which should really be the product of intent.  So the more explicitly we think and define it, the better.  I can see where my prep work goes through instability at times ("requirements shift"); how far and in what direction do I want to go with the changes in my life, given everyone around me is still living life like it is "normal", and the more I do, the whackier they think I am?  And given that the more I do to prepare, the more stressful it is trying to live a "normal" life at the same time? 

Is my intent to pacify myself to the extent that I don't really rattle the current framework of my life, and my family members' lives? (And at what potenial cost?)  I would say that's where I am now.

Is my intent to do everything within my power now to mitigate the risks facing my family, even if it does rattle the current framework of our lives, and incurr monumental changes/disruptions to our current way of life (e.g., move to Costa Rica and be next-door neighbors with Jim Willie?  Just kidding, Jim!:)

Is it my intent to consciously select what level of preparation I will strive for, and what level I will not?  E.g. is it my intent to consiously select not to prepare for the worst case scenario(s), knowingly taking that risk and making the trade-off for a higher quality of life now (as my husband chooses)?  

 I think your mentor gave good advice.

 

SagerXX's picture
SagerXX
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Feb 11 2009
Posts: 2219
Re: How to control your feelings !!
pinecarr wrote:

 I think your mentor gave good advice.

Thanks pinecarr.  I have been very fortunate with respect to individuals who have been able to educate/enlighten/challenge me.  They just seem to show up when I'm ready for the next step.  

Yah -- setting intent helps me suss out what it is I really want/need.  Helps prevent me from wasting time running off madly and only down the road a bit getting clearer on where it is I actually want to end up.  

Viva -- Sager

cipher's picture
cipher
Status: Bronze Member (Offline)
Joined: Jun 19 2009
Posts: 51
Re: How to control your feelings !!

well, guys ......... after I replied to this thread today, I learned that after one month's time, I will loose my job.

They don't have any work for me anymore. I realized that being part of this community helped me to be calm at that moment and hopefully later. Now I am hoping to get a good job in my homecountry and so prepare myself better like many others here. A part of me says that its too early and too sudden, a part says "this all might be best for you if you get out now and prepare for future in your homecountry where you really can !!"

Good or bad, it is what it is........... after writing this post, I am still wondering why I wrote it Undecided

idoctor's picture
idoctor
Status: Diamond Member (Offline)
Joined: Oct 4 2008
Posts: 1731
Re: How to control your feelings !!

Cipher you probably wrote it because you need to talk with people that can relate....that is a good thing IMHO. What is your home country if you don't mind sharing?

Sometimes I feel like 90% of the people look at me as part of the problem of what makes the economy get worse. I feel they believe that if we all just believe all our troubles will just go away. I feel some of the rose colored glasses crowd blame the realists for making reality come true LOL.

I ask "older" people in passing (I deal with many people per day) what they think of where things are going.....my own survey LOL. Most say it doesn't matter because they have fixed incomes (SS, pension, disability...etc). It won't affect me they say???? So most are not preparing for much & don't want to think about anything that might be unpleasant.

We all need to realize that we live in a much better time now than in the past IMHO…other than the negative of that being we can destroy nature & our selves much faster. We all have more options & "things" at our finger tips. Learning to live with less might be the best thing that ever happened to all of us. We might actually enjoy getting to know ourselves better.

It is easy to say just turn off the anger as we watch the stupidity & corruption unfold in front of us without being able to do much about it. I try to put that anger energy into building a future that makes sense to me….even so I it gets very frustrating at times.

Chiper thanks for starting this threadSmile.

How to Live Happily on 75 Percent Less......below.

http://www.usnews.com/money/blogs/flowchart/2009/12/15/how-to-live-happily-on-75-percent-less.html

plato1965's picture
plato1965
Status: Platinum Member (Offline)
Joined: Feb 18 2009
Posts: 615
Re: How to control your feelings !!

 

 I think a lot of anger about bankers is misplaced..  Here's why.

 Although he's one of my favourite guys, Bill Hicks made that quote about taking the defence budget and spending it on feeding the poor..

 When I first heard it I (20+ years ago) I agreed.. now I realise it's more subtle..money (even hard money) is a claim on resources.. it doesn't create them..

 If Bill Gates decided to try to end hunger, even if he used his entire fortune, it's unlikely he would do much good, his money can't create resources, only bid for them, reallocate them.. at the margin.

 Most of the food growing land is already devoted to growing food...  increasing the fraction devoted to human nutrition would create an even less sustainable future in the long term..

 A banker may be fabulously wealthy in "nominal" terms, but there's a limit to how much food he can consume, how warm his house(s) can be.. how much quality time he has with his family.

 most of the wealth is mere status. Plutocratic brownie points..

 If it was divided among the poor, they would simply bid up the price of basics.. and very little would change..

 No matter what happens to the money system, a retiring demographic bulge combined with a shrinking resource base means the physical standard of living (in terms of energy) is going to decline..

 the true quality of life may or may not.. it depends on intangibles like culture.. relationships.

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4

 

cipher's picture
cipher
Status: Bronze Member (Offline)
Joined: Jun 19 2009
Posts: 51
Re: How to control your feelings !!

iDoctor I am with you on your advice about anger. I am from India, I have been talking to friends there to get some contacts so that I can try to get a job there and then prepare for future risks like many people here. That is, I believe best scenario for me.

I believe that US will become unsafe for immigrants when things get much worse. In that case, it might not be prudent to be around. Best would be to back and

try to put that anger energy into building a future that makes sense

Being a part of this community as a novice has equiped me to better handle this situation and think about my next steps more clearly and sing along in that musical thing Laughing

Thanks everyone.

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