Spouse who just don’t get it?
Thank you guys for the encouraging words. Now if I could find that outside of the CM virtual community. I should try to make Rowe next year. My wife actually brought it up. She’s always up for a trip!
Three years ago, I made a concerted effort to get my family, and my wife’s family on board. I had been making preps since 2006′, but I was not vocal about it. Naively, I thought if we helped each other, we could face these issues together. I can honestly say that it turned out to be a complete disaster for me. I know everyone is thinking that I was probably too pushy, or too political, or whatever, but I am a fairly quiet person, with no political affiliation, and I tried to delicately appeal to reason.
Thanks for telling us your story. It is very instructive. I have made a few tentative warnings to family and friends focused primarily on economics and investments. I thought those areas would catch their interests and not overwhelm them. I am frustrated, but not surprised, that my comments have largely been dismissed as too extreme. It is important to be realistic about what is possible when the backlash can be severe, as you illustrated. This is heart rendering when it involves people dear to us, but they set the limits.
Your welcome. Your comments are absolutely correct in my opinion. I came about it the hard way, but you are right about the limits being set by others. Sometimes I feel like I am watching my entire family standing on railroad tracks saying, “Look at the pretty light!” I am on the sideline trying to coax them off the tracks, but they are enjoying the lights. I could go on the tracks and physically remove them, but is there enough time, or do I get hurt in the process?
I would encourage you to consider Rowe. It will be an energizing experience and I know it is now more focused on making personal changes than when I went in 2008. The vegetarian food (though I am not a vegetarian) was quite good. Suggestion…bring warm clothing.
When I came back I was so energized that my uninterested and disparaging wife (“Chris Martenson is a doomsday nut and forming a cult”) told me to leave and to go live on an organic farm. It’s tempting to jokingly say that things have gone downhill from there but, truthfully, I have given up. It’s too late in the game for me to make the kind of changes I might have 40 or even, perhaps, 10 years ago. There are many more options for younger and healthier folks than for 60-somethings looking at Social Security. I’m placing an inertial bet that I croak before TSHTF to a degree that I’m not prepared for.
I’m placing an inertial bet that I croak before TSHTF to a degree that I’m not prepared for.
That is a nice turn of phrase! And a practical outlook.
When I came back I was so energized that my uninterested and disparaging wife (“Chris Martenson is a doomsday nut and forming a cult”) told me to leave and to go live on an organic farm. It’s tempting to jokingly say that things have gone downhill from there but, truthfully, I have given up. [/quote]
Capesurvivor, I think my husband and your wife are the same person! Ok, so maybe not the exact same person. But the similarity in mindset is certainly there. As DIAP said, and I don’t mean this trivially, “I feel your pain”. It is not at all easy when the one person who is supposed to be by your side through all things isn’t. Small cracks in the relationshipbecome bigger cracks. It adds a whole extra, painful dimension to the collapse.
…don’t despair. My wife took a long time to come around. But she did. Now she’s nearly as into it as I am (we’d be equally interested in preps except everytime she comes further along the path, I take another step or two forward [she decides food storage is necessary, I start researching what kind of long gun/hand gun to buy…she buys a food dehydrator,I start researching composting toilets…]). But I thank my guardian angel (who has worked serious overtime in my 46 years [grin]) that my wife is in the game at all.
And I’m sympathetic to those whose spouse forbids preps. Such a situation for me would probably lead to divorce; I believe it is that serious a matter. People wjo absolutely refuse to envision thhe future in a realistic and constructive way shouldn’t probably be married to those who do…something along the lines of a hard-drinking type being married to a teetotaller. And bear in mind that in my case we have no kids. Not that people should stay in an unhappy marriage “for the kids” — but not having any makes the decision to split a lot less sticky, IMO. YMMV.
But even if your spouse forbids preps, you can work around that I think. Put aside cash somehow (give up your morning Starbucks, or give up some hobby that you regularly spend money on). When you get to X dollars, buy storage food or PMs or a hand cranked radio/flashlight. Rent a storage space, or keep it at a sympathetic friend’s house, or bury it on the back 40 (no offense, apartment dwellers). This adds a layer of trouble/time/complexity but IMO there will come a day where what you’ve done to prepare will pay such dividends that you’ll find it hard to believe you ever thought it was a PITA.
Gorgeous GORGEOUS June day here. Damn shame I can’t spend it outside.
Viva — Sager
The stress can be huge even for the families who all have their eyes open ! Let alone the struggle of a house divided . Each person thinks they know what best to prep . One will want to build the food storage while the other has 5000 rounds of ammo arriving UPS . One wants to buy more bucket calves while the other is stocking up on oil and fuel . And in the back of your mind you are thinking ‘ what in the hell do we need another case of 30 weight for if there ia no gas to run the car !” And ” are you crazy ! I am not spending $500 on a trip when that could fill the propane tank!”
Times are getting increasingly stressful. I said no to the kids going to cam this year , No to their Mission trip to Haiti , No to a lot of other things . It gets to be where you weigh where every dime goes .
So yes we will remember to pray for you all to find some money to do your preps and pray for balance in our lives as well . We just have to realize some paths are set before us and can not be changed but there are others that we can and will !
LOL . Today my husband bought cases of sunflower seeds that he got at half price . Got to love him for trying !
I wish those were our issues. My wife buys Instyle magazine at about $5./wk to see what narcissistic Hollywood stars and models are wearing;I get “Guns” magazine free online.
You don’t get much further apart than that.
maybe we will pray it becomes Hollywood sheik( what ever that word is ) to carry a pink 9 mil . They do come that way I know because my 21 year old daughter wants one for her birthday . Any way you can get her one for an anniversary gift ! Maybe even glue some bling on it !!
Hey or tell her she can be the first to start a new trend ??