My Husband Died

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  • Sun, Aug 10, 2014 - 04:26pm

    #1
    .

    .

    Status Gold Member (Offline)

    Joined: Oct 22 2008

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    My Husband Died

This might not be the best place to discuss this, but hoping it might be. I will have to disguise some details as my husband was a journalist/author and I’d like to remain anonymous. 

He passed over about 6 weeks ago, suddenly. It was unexpected. He spent the previous day hiking. He died in his sleep in bed. He wasn’t that old.

I was mainly just stunned and disoriented by it. I went to town about a week afterwards, to do some banking and nearly fell over in the bank because I was so dizzy and anxious. 

I managed to organize his memorial and write his eulogy while being in this state and tended to a lot of other people…but then they all went home. The reality of his passing, his permanent absence–is now sinking in—and it’s hard. I really miss him and would like to be wherever he is but will remain earthbound, as I guess it’s my duty to my own destiny to see the rest of this incarnation through. But sometimes I really don’t want to be here. Wherever he is, I really want to be there with him. 

 

  • Sun, Aug 10, 2014 - 11:36pm

    #2
    VeganDB12

    VeganDB12

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    I am very sorry

My Condolences to you for your loss.

Denise

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 01:07am

    #3
    Yoxa

    Yoxa

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    Joined: Dec 20 2011

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    I send a hug

Even though it's anonymous, I send a hug and prayers for strength. Life doesn't deliver many blows harder than this.

Many would consider it a blessing to go peacefully in one's sleep … but on the other hand, the goodbyes that don't get said can make it harder for those left behind. I hope that aspect is not too troubling for you. Take solace in the fact that he was doing things he enjoyed right until the end.

You have much still to give so trust that your story will have another chapter. Take things a day at a time, an hour at a time, even a breath at a time if that's what it takes to carry on.

((((hug))))

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 01:20am

    #4

    Oliveoilguy

    Status Silver Member (Offline)

    Joined: Jun 29 2012

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    agitating prop

My wife lost her first husband in a tragic and unexpected cave diving accident in Mexico on a vacation. She was emotionally and spiritually devastated. Here we are ten years later and she is loving life again and thankful for what she has. Life will never be the same for her after her loss, but she is embracing life and becoming stronger all the time.

Our sincere thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please PM if there is anything we can do in any way. 

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 01:24am

    #5

    Wendy S. Delmater

    Status Diamond Member (Offline)

    Joined: Dec 13 2009

    Posts: 1418

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    oh I am so sorry

Losing someone you are so intertwined with is like having a phantom limb – you still feel like they are there and look to rediscover they are gone. I'm sorry you're by yourself right now. Reaching out to community helps. but I hope you have friends or family you can lean on from time to time. Sometimes you just need a hug.If I were there. I'd give you one.

We care.

– Wendy

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 01:43am

    #6

    SagerXX

    Status Gold Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 11 2009

    Posts: 392

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    oh my

Hey AP — 

I am very very sorry to hear your news.  [minutes pass]  I've spent about 3 minutes staring at the screen, thinking of what to say, pondering scenarios [what if my sweetheart died suddenly?  what would I do?]…

I don't have any wisdom, and can't make it better.  I'll give you a big HHUUGG, and assert that surely your fine mind has work to do here before you go to be with your mate.  

So….get on that, yah?  

Again — my condolences and a big hug.  Best to you.

Viva — Sager

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 02:12am

    #7
    agitating prop

    agitating prop

    Status Silver Member (Offline)

    Joined: May 28 2009

    Posts: 282

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    Thank you all so much. I want

Thank you all so much. I want to share something very interesting about good-bye's left unsaid. I was away when my husband died.  I arrived back home, in total shock, about 3 hours after they removed his body from the house.  

When he dropped me off at the airport two days prior to his death, and we said our good-byes, I reached up, touched his face, apologized for any hurts i have caused him. I thanked him for everything he has done for me, over the years, and for giving me a reason to live when we married. 

I felt this huge wave of warmth spread over me and was really a bit surprised by it. I am usually a pretty open and affectionate person but I really outdid myself at the airport. That was the last time I saw him.  

So lesson here is to pay attention to your gut. I had no idea why I launched into this soliloquy, but my gut said 'just do it' —  so I did. 

 

Again, thank you for your kind words and concern. My husband and I will hopefully be reunited somewhere in time.

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 02:14am

    #8
    agitating prop

    agitating prop

    Status Silver Member (Offline)

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    Wendy S. Delmater

[quote=Wendy S. Delmater]

Losing someone you are so intertwined with is like having a phantom limb – you still feel like they are there and look to rediscover they are gone. I'm sorry you're by yourself right now. Reaching out to community helps. but I hope you have friends or family you can lean on from time to time. Sometimes you just need a hug.If I were there. I'd give you one.

We care.

– Wendy

[/quote]

 

Wendy, thank you.  I will gladly accept a digital hug from you, failing the real thing!

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 07:42am

    #9

    sand_puppy

    Status Platinum Member (Offline)

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    Very sad too.

(((hug)))

  • Mon, Aug 11, 2014 - 08:29am

    #10

    Arthur Robey

    Status Platinum Member (Offline)

    Joined: Feb 03 2010

    Posts: 1814

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    Soliloquy

May God give you the strength to get through. You have been spared because your journey is not yet done.

Arthur

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