Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

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  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 03:40pm

    #21
    acitteg

    acitteg

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

I agree with Scott–

Perhaps something like how Craig’s list breaks it down–Nation, State, Zone in state.  The other thing I like about the Craig’s list model is that it allows people to send annonymous emails–that will allow folks the opportunity to get to know each other without having to divulge precious contact information. 

 I’d like to be able to see the screen name of the person in the Nation, State and Zone that they live, then be able to click on that screen name, find out what they want to share in their profile, then have the option to send an email through the site (which would display my screen name), but users would have to manually divulge actual contact information (real email, telelphone, etc.) to get in contact. 

  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 04:01pm

    #22
    acitteg

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Thanks to everyone who has passed on words of support.  I was buoyed yesterday afternoon and then sunk back again yesterday evening during the "do we sell our house" discussion. 

The most frightening bit to get my mind around is the possibility of the failed state.  That is just too horrible to comprehend.  We agreed at the outset to set those possibilities aside because it’s just impossible to plan for, yet despite the agreement, it was clear that that possibility was still very much on our minds and coloring our discussion.  And gripping us (at least me) with fear.  

Okay, so we’ve got the six stages of awareness: 

1) denial

2) anger

3) bargaining

4) fear

5) depression

6) acceptance

 

Chris laid out everything so well that I think I skipped pretty briefly through denial, landed for a few minutes on anger, skated by bargaining (I think) and have landed squarely in the fourth stage.  

I do see glimmers of hope.  We are reasonable, creative, thinking adults here–there’s no reason to think that we, as a group, can’t find a way to avoid the more horrible aspects of what this change can bring.   I am thankful that I’ve got my health.  I am thankful that I found out about this now.  I am thankful that my darling husband is on board and keeping me from diving into a deep tailspin.  I am thankful that I’ve been hearing voices of support and that I’m not alone.

 But am I scared?  Yes I am.

Incidentally, I’m in Frederick, MD.

  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 04:23pm

    #23

    DavidLachman

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Hi Acitteg,

I have gone through the stages as well and recommend not making decisions out of fear.  Best to wait till acceptance and you won’t regret the decisions you have made.  While the conclusions the crash course suggests seem obvious given the facts, how they play out and at what time scale is still an unknown and dependent on how the people and their representatives in government react at each moment of change/crisis.  Humans lived for thousands of years without oil, debt based money, or lots of gadgets we take for granted and by some measures in some places and times lived happy lives.  I hope we can have as much social organization as we need to continue the advances of emergency medicine and basic science.

Welcome to the community,

  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 04:36pm

    #24
    suziegruber

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Hi Acitteg,

Thank you for sharing so clearly your journey with this very difficult material.  I have been aware of Peak Oil for four years now and I still struggle with fear especially as the concerns discussed become reality.

 I too love Sharon’s writings.  Additionally, if you want to learn about food storage, Sharon has a Yahoo group called Sharon Food Storage where we help each other break down this very important step into manageable chunks and support each other when our efforts don’t quite work out.  You can check it out here:

  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sharonfoodstorage/

 

I really agree with Chris’ approach of breaking things down into manageable steps.  It really helped me feel more secure and less overwhelmed.

 

Good luck!

–Suzie

  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 04:46pm

    #25

    Nichoman

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Acitteg…

 

Besides earlier wise counsel posts above, suggest take next several weeks to learn and understand, but don’t obsess.

 

With time and support from others, your views and emotions will balance.  

 

FWIW…I’ve shared much of Chris’s views for years before I came to his site in early November. 

I’m actually more optmistic than pessimistic.  Suggest take time to learn and understand all the issues, assumptions, and where real answers will come from.  Couple this with enduring human principles and values, my first hand experiences in disasters in three wars, two volcanic eruptions (Mt St Helens, Pinatubo), recent floods where I live in Iowa; found we can deal with anything with above.

 Keep the faith!

Nichoman 

  • Fri, Jan 16, 2009 - 04:57pm

    #26
    acitteg

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Hi David, hi Suzie,

 Thank you for your words of support!  Yes, I must keep in mind that this will not happen tomorrow.

We’re currently worried that the market for houses and cars is not doing very much, so even if we wanted to sell I’m not sure we’d have much luck with buyers.  

 Yes, happiness is not dependent upon gadgets, but I can name a few gadgets that I’m pretty sure I’d miss (refrigerator, food processor, wash machine, cell phone, to name a few) that make life a lot easier.  What an adjustment to going without!  

 Yes, the flip side is that life’s pace will ultimately maybe slow down a little bit… No more 60 hour weeks…?

  • Sat, Jan 17, 2009 - 02:39am

    #27
    jerry_lee

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Hey Suzie

Are you in the current food storage class? I am and it’s a great help for the practical steps as well as the encouragement. Sharon has an amazing attitude. Plus,  she must be plugged into her own  personal form of alternative energy! I don’t know how it’s possible to do what she does!  As you know, she includes a weekly phone call as part of the course. She called me last night and it was great to ask her  some things directly…and I’m hoping some of her energy and attitude will rub off on me.

Jerry Lee of Lancaster PA

  • Sat, Jan 17, 2009 - 05:10pm

    #28
    suziegruber

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Jerry,

Although it sounds absolutely great, I am not in that class.  I simply don’t have time for it right now.  Yes, Sharon is amazing.

 Here is another resource for you.  The University of Georgia has an online food preservation class that is free and self-paced.  Here’s the link:  http://www.uga.edu/nchfp/#

I have not taken this class either but t was recommended to me by Pat Meadows who runs the Yahoo group healthycheapcooking where we learn how to make healthy meals from basic ingredients.  If you are interested in this Yahoo group, here’s the link:     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/healthycheapcooking/

In my old, fast-paced corporate life I used to eat out 5 or 6 times a week and knew nothing about cooking with whole grains and beans.  This group has really helped me learn how fun, less expensive, and easy it is to cook healthy.  The recipes that we share are posted in the group files, so new members can easily find things to try.

–Suzie

  • Sat, Jan 17, 2009 - 06:19pm

    #29
    castlewp

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    The Truman Show

I just finished watching The Truman Show with Jim Carey on TBS.  When he starts figuring out that everything is a sham is exactly how I feel now.  Seems like everything is smoke and mirrors and people are starting to realize that we are being taken for fools.

Just an observation. 

  • Sun, Jan 18, 2009 - 12:19am

    #30
    capesurvivor

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    Re: Grief, stress, and planning: reaction

Acciteg,

Do keep a perspective on things. The world is not ending tomorrow. Also, keep in mind that those 6 (actually 5) stages Chris mentioned are just rough constructs as seen by most of us in mental health. Some people don’t go through them all; some backtrack, some times they don’t seem to be helpful. The worst therapists try to push their patients into or through the stages. Don’t try to track your coping skills based on those stages; I find them not as helpful as many other aspects of the Crash Course. They were derived on observations decades ago of folks dying in hospitals; it is not clear to me how well they relate to impending massive changes at an uncertain time in the future.

Most studies that inquire about people’s optimism show that, while people may think the future of the country is poor, for example, they have considerably more optimism about their own future. Individual initiative and planning and unconscious faith in oneself to cope with problems go a long way.

 

SG

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