Club 1033 Eyes Fund-Raiser for Bernanke’s Lurgy
Club 1033 — a group of gold investors named for the yellow dog’s record dollar price to date — is growing increasingly alarmed by the intensifying manifestations of ‘Bernanke’s lurgy,’ a socioeconomic disease marked by rising interest rates, a falling currency, compulsive autoFRNatio (the inappropriate, publicly lewd exhibition of sucking in bonds using your own scrip), and (lately) a house-on-fire rally in the price of gold.
The remedy for this awful, perplexing affliction is well known — a redeemable, gold-backed currency. But as in the case of AIDS drugs, the treatment is widely (though perhaps erroneously) believed to be too costly to share with everyone. However, as the price of gold nears the $1,000 round number, Club 1033 feels that urgent action is needed. Should gold break out beyond $1,033, there would be no more upside resistance until the next round number. And treatment would be even more financially out of reach.
Consequently, we are considering a 10.33K sponsored run to raise funds for institutionalization and therapeutic intervention for the Fed Open Markets Committee. These troubled souls need our help, not our revulsion for their bizarre behavior. When they bid for Treasurys with palsied hands full of crayon-colored monopoly money that wouldn’t fool a child, that’s Bernanke’s lurgy talking, not the formerly accomplished economist that this shell of a human being used to be. Compassion for the afflicted, I say!