Preparing as a Woman for the Crash

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How Men Treat Women

SafeWrite

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I think it's just awesome what you've done to stand up for your rights. Even though I am a man, as a member of a minority, I also have to combat stereotypes and prejudice, so I have some idea on how tough things can be.

I had earlier contributed a comment, just some thoughts I had on this forum topic:
http://www.peakprosperity.com/comment/81204#comment-81204

Among other things, I wrote in that comment was the following: "In a post-collapse world with few medicines to treat sexually transmitted diseases, restricted access to methods of contraception, lack of modern technology to treat complications resulting from childbirth, and higher infant/child mortality... I think prudent parents will naturally be more watchful and more conservative in how they raise their daughters than they are today."

What do you think? Do you think parents will be more restrictive and less permissive of their children's activities - especially girl children - in a more brutal, less access to medical care, less law-and-order society? Will this lead to more prejudicial behavior towards women?

Poet

safewrite wrote:

1. Men can treat you like either a child, a bother  or a moron, just because you are female. The assumption was I had no clue how things worked. Well at first, I didn't, but neither did young men starting in the field. I saw them treated differently. I held my peace.

2. I was accused of "stealing some man's job."  If any man stole that job, it was my ex when he left us.

3. You can be so "protected" by well-meaning fellas that you get no chance to learn your job. I will never forget the conversation I had with a female structural engineer, one I intentionally had within earshot of my project manager: "I can't believe they won't let me go out in the field 'because I might get hurt.' I'm THIRTY EIGHT. Can you imagine them saying that to a 38-year-old man?" I was out in the field the next day. But I had to push to get there.

3. Men can treat you differently when they meet your boyfriend or husband. There was one site when the client treated me like garbage, disparaging my efforts to get them to work safely. Sarcasm, taunts. and outright rebellion reigned until my then boyfriend showed up. They started to treat me with incredible deference after that - simply because they knew I had a protector. Believe it or not, this was not a relief - it filled me with rage. I thought they were just difficult to work with. No, they were just difficult for me to work with because I was female. I could never earn their respect unless a 'grew a pair.'

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Safewrite

Quote:

If decorum is the first thing to go post-crash, I have a gun. And I've probably been worked over by better experts than you.

Can you explain who this is directed towards and what it means exactly?

Cheers,

Aaron

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traditional women

I've never understood how men came to think of women as submissive creatures who needed men to take care of them.  My mother grew up on a hard scrabble farm in Nebraska (adopted), raised by people who viewed her a labor.  She went to work in a factory when men went off to war.  When the men came back, she married one, but continued to work until retirement (marriage lasted long enough to produce two children).  Whatever might be said about mom, she was never weak or submissive.

Doug

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Pairbonding, interglacials and the flamboyant male.

Humans have different reproductive strategies for different environmental conditions.

  1. During times of plenty, such as when the Ice Ages are in retreat or a new source of energy is discovered, the emphasis is breeding early and fast in order to occupy the new niches. This weakens the pairbond as the chances of a man's offspring surviving are improved and evolution favours infidelity. Women favour men who are attractive to other women so that their sons will also be successful. This leads to a more flamboyant male.
  2. Adverse conditions favour fewer children. Males are obliged to contribute considerable effort in order to be in with a shot of successful breeding. (Breeding is considered successful if there are grandchildren, after which evolution has no further use of you.)     During these constrained times isolated pockets of humanity are formed. This leads to inbreeding. Lethal recessive genes are expressed and because of the ruthless nature of the environment the unfortunate carriers of the genes are dispatched. Lethal recessive genes are thus elliminated from the genepool.

We now find ourselves at the onset of Adverse Conditions. It is noted that the population is infantile as we come to the end of the period of children making babies.

Pretty, facile, flamboyant men are just about to get theirs.

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dealing with harassment, violence

Aaron,

To answer your question, when I said:

Quote:

If decorum is the first thing to go post-crash, I have a gun. And I've probably been worked over by better experts than you.

Aaron

Can you explain who this is directed towards and what it means exactly?

Cheers, Aaron

I did not mean anyone here. In context, since I was stating how women will protect their young, and talked about not getting between a lioness and her cubs...it's about not being a victim.  If someone were to give me a hard time in a post-crash future I hope to handle it like Ferfal. (I've been studying; that and target practice and basic defense martial arts are all I can do right now). Let me tell you some of the experts in harassment and potential violence I have had to deal with over the years.

I worked in NYC for 10 years, in the rough and tumble world of construction longer than that, and not always in the nice neighborhoods or during the day.  And the "experts" in trying to dish out pain I referenced? My father was a mean drunk--a brilliant PhD with a steady job---but Darth Vader to his family. I stood up to him. After that, the others were easy, including construction superintendents who got paid in direct proportion to how much spittle landed on my face while they were screaming at me that safety was &^$% and they were going to ignore the rules I was there to enforce. I've dealt with it. Attempted rapists have been very sorry to tangle with me.  When my ex left us and we lost the house, we had to move to an awful area: I had to deal with drug dealers and crooked building supers, con artists and neighbors who were victims of domestic violence. In situations like those you either learn what women's defense experts call the "f-you walk" and some basic defense moves, or you sink.

I hope it's not just bravado. God knows I wondered what the hell was I thinking when I confronted that robber who ended up being armed with a knife (got my friend's backpack with $400 and his beloved camera back, but I would NOT have chased him down if I saw the knife!) But my point was that women will defend their families. At least, this one will.

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Defensive techniques.

Forget about it.

You are either the ambusher or the ambushee. Your home should be the honeypot. Sleep elsewhere, close to the ground, in an ambush position. Make it sudden, quick and clean.

Any light hearted banter with your victim means you have lost the innitive.

Best of all, dont get into the situation.

Buy a yacht. They are magic. One moment you see them there sitting in their shark infested moat, the next morning the have disapeared without trace. (Girls can sail too.)

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landlocked

Ah, Arthur Robey. If only I were not 120 miles from the ocean - a watery retreat would be then an option.  But yes, I used to sail. Know what you mean. However, I worry about a rise in piracy if things really fall apart. Try reading ONE SECOND AFTER and take note of the scenario referenced in the end of the book.

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is it different for females ?

I only see one aspect where the coming events, whatever they may be, could be different for females.  If there is a social breakdown, marauding gangs or unscrupulous individuals may decide to treat themselves to attractive females they may encounter.  For this reason I would strongly encourage attractive females and the parents of attractive females to acquire and learn how to use firearms.  A 45 ACP will be a great equalizer if one of these occasions happens.  Do not show the weapon to a possible perp.  Do not engage in conversation with a possible perp.  Do not get within 10 feet of a possible perp.  If you encounter such a person you should try to put as much distance between the perp and yourself as possible.  If the perp is not allowing that and keeps closing in, and If you strongly suspect foul play is imminent, just whip out the weapon and start shooting.  No talking, no fooling around, no nothing.  Once the perp sees the weapon he/they are going to try to take it away from you or they are going to try to get to their weapon.  If you mess around they are going to get what they came for and/or you are going to be killed.  I think it is just that simple.  There really are very bad people out in the world.

Other than that one aspect, I do not believe a social breakdown will be much different based on gender.  Everybody needs food.

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Too Much to Do

I think the main difference for females is that we have to do it all, from learning to can to learning to shoot. I'd love to be able to split these tasks with someone. Instead of spending so much time  learning about the economy, I'd like to spend a little time learning to weave, for example.

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Catherine Austin Fitts.

Catherine Austin Fitts.

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One more thing

I'm sorry I have not put more thought into my reply before I hit the send key, but I want to add this because it is the most important of all.

Since starting this research into the economy and the future, I have become aware of having been urged to ignore my intuition my entire life. When something that the mainstream media said did not add up, I was encouraged to accept it anyway. I felt this pressure everywhere, as I imagine we all did.

Since 'waking up', I have become so in tune with my intuition! It is not magic -- one definition I like of intuition is "facts filed away," but I have really learned to listen to that very small voice inside when it says, "Wait a minute. That does not make sense." Doing this has had a profound effect on my life, because I am so much more confident in my decision making. I don't need to do endless research about every issue to either justify or question what I know on some level to be true. I don't think this is specifically a women's skill, but after all, the phrase 'women's intuition" is known by everyone, so I do think it is where we excel.

I'm curious if others have had a similar experience.

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 Just an observance in our

Just an observance in our personal family . The Males can only think of one thing at a time  while the women can multi-task and sometimes even get side tracked by having too many irons in the fire. But I agree with you Debra B,   I  have become much more aware of my surroundings and the feel of a situation . Not so hung up on trivial matters . ... Ah super cute shoes  blah blah blah .  However you must still try to play the games so as not put  attention  upon yourself and put a target on your back .

@ hey who would have thought that it was a bonus to being ugly and over sized  !

FM

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women's intuition

I've heard it described as men have powerful single processors, women have parallel processors. We may not be quite sure how we come to a certain conclusion, but it's because it is so rapid with so many simultaneous bits linking together. Don't know how true it is, but makes sense to me. But trying to process too much all at once can really stress us.

As to your feeling overwhelmed about there being so much to learn, I hear you. What works for me is that I make prioritized lists. If I can check even part of one item off my list, I know I am headed in the right direction.

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Full Moon wrote:  ?   I

Full Moon wrote:

?   I am confused  and  do not know where you all are coming from .  My grandmothers and greats beyond had to work along side their husbands on ther homesteads all the time  .     In the fields , butchering ,and everything  .  Even to the point of having to do it all after the husbands wore out ,became ill , were killed in war ,and died first . They have always been able to provide  for their family with what little cash their eggs and chickens brought in . I do not see most  modern woman as having it harder at all .    Men have frequently run off to the fronteer , gold fields,and war  leaving the women  to raise the children and take care of everything at home . They were pretty enough for the husbands to come home to  until lifes hard work took its tole and even then the men seemed to find their way home .  Maybe I am only coming from working class point of veiw .

And yes  the ones who can not figure out how to do hard work have always been able to make money  in Ivory Palaces .

Although many women  have now chosen to join in the wars  I still think enough will left behind to survive .

It is just my thinking no real conviction either way .

FM

FM,

Not  a working class point of view, but perhaps a rural point of view. Think suburban soccer moms that refuse to allow their children to play with squirt guns in the summer heat because, well, after all, it is a GUN! its right there in its name! They are strong in a sense, and those are the folks that will be sorely prepared if we have a break down anything like what has been proposed.

My grandmother was from the "old country" was blind as a bat from a young age that was caused by high fever. Yet, she raised three girls, moved to America, (Chicago - south side) planted a garden, cooked, cleaned, you name it. I even saw her once wring a chicken's neck, and then prepare it for dinner.

There are multiple stories about inner city and rural women that are as strong if not stronger than their men.

Our "modern America" has produced  vacuum in suburbia. A vacuum of backbone, community, family, hard work and morals.

The picture that I was trying to paint was that of June Clever, "cleaning the house" in her dress, high heels and pearl necklace. The biggest confrontation she ever had was "cross words" with one of the other ladies at the PTA meeting. Now take that as one end of the spectrum - and your example at the other end. From about the mid-point to your end, will be women that can cope. The other end will be in trouble.

I want more than just a few to survive.

C.

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Safewrite

Gotcha!

Sorry for the delayed response - had some business that had to be tended.
I thought I'd offended you. Glad to hear that's not the case. Interesting responses so far too.

Cheers,

Aaron

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gender roles

Alpha Mike wrote:

This being a pretty modern forum, I'm sort of surprised to see the lack of discussion about gender roles in a post-collapse world.

I'm not suggesting anything, but I would be interested in hearing peoples views on the matter.
It seems that decorum might be one of the first things to go, and I really wonder how the last 50 years of social thinking will align with the new times, or reshape our concept of gender roles yet again.

Anyone care to toss in some thoughts or opinions?

Cheers,
Aaron 

I think this is an excellent question/discussion point.  I am surprised no one has picked it up before me. 

I was once an ambitious young woman who was going to be a doctor and heal the world.  I went through a rigorous pre-med program in a prestigious university.  I took the mcat and then while applying for schools, during the composition of the classic "why do you want to practice medicine" essay, it occured to me that the last thing in the world I wanted was to be a doctor.  I had never been to see a doctor all throughout the majority of my life, could not stand the hospitals or doctors offices where I had volunteered, and in general did not really even agree with the general model of mainstream medicine as it currently practiced.  So I did not become a doctor.  There are few days that pass now where I am not grateful for that very abrubt change in course, though I am sure my parents are still scratching their heads about it, almost 20 years later.

But I could have been a doctor, had I chosen to.  This is a very nice privilage.

In the future, I am not sure anyone will be quite as able to choose what they do as they are now.  That is a luxury that I fear may go away along with many other luxuries that have become mundane.  As for who does what, and what the gender roles become, it is anyone's guess.  However, I do know that my own feelings about gender roles have changed dramatically during the course of my still young adult life.  In my more idealistic days I could not be bothered with cooking or cleaning.  Now it is all I do, and actually love it (well, truth be told the cleaning I could do without...).

I think it may come down to people not necessarily doing what they want to do, but doing what they are best equipped/trained/suited to do. One who knows how to cook will cook, one who knows how to fix things will fix things.  Of course this gets to be the sticky part of the conversation for some people.  But for me it is getting simpler and simpler as I age and become more clear about my limitations.  I am not handy, though my husband is.  I could rewire an outlet if I had to, but it would be a painful process.  For him, he can pull off scrambled eggs and coffee on his own.  Anything beyond that, and though he technically could do it, but it would not be fun for him or anyone else in our house.  Just because he could do the meal planning/shopping/preparing doesnt mean that he should do it.  I am more suitable.  

The problem as I see it, has to do with what happens with folks who really dont seem to know how to do anything that is necesarry to be done.  Has anyone skinned a rabbit recently?  I have not.  I know that for the majority of my married life (ten years or so), I have spent hours and hours together teaching myself how to properly prepare food.  Someone who worked with a major advertising agency told me that advertisers define "cooking" as boiling water for ten minutes.  This is not my experience.  Preparing food is like conducting at least a five piece band, maybe even a small string section depending on what you are making.  It was not a skill I had learned in childhood, and as I made the decision to feed myself and my family well, I decided to learn.  But is has not been easy all the time.  It is stressful to learn something new.  I worry about how stressful things will be when we are all challenged by unforseen circumstances.

One book I found particularly helpful related to gender roles and life:  Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes.  It is decried somewhere as anti-feminist to which I say "So?".  It may not be feminist, but I cannot think of anything more feminine than birthing and raising children(though that is not really what the book is about).  However, I did not always hold this view, and recognize that I may be offending folks by saying this.  I think that we need to closely examine our choices along with our gifts and limitations to understand where we will fit in a world that could look very differently than it does now.

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Survival Of Women During SHTF

(Note: Cross-posted to the SHTF School thread.)

I received an e-mail notification from the SHTF School, read the article, and thought it was important to share in this thread:

"Selco" interviewed a woman, a fellow survivor of a year-long siege of a city during the Yugoslav Wars. He posted about her experience.

Survival Of Women During SHTF (April 9, 2012)
"...many times I thought this can not be worst and then it got worse. Fighting for survival can reduce people to animal that we all are. Sometimes it was hard to still see that they or we are human. So much that we think makes us human is removed and then there is something very basic and brutal left. It comes as surprise that people can act without emotions like compassion that make us human. Since that time I never thought about humans like before."
http://shtfschool.com/security/survival-of-women-during-shtf/

The comments section are always worth reading as well. Especially Sunflower's concerns on being older and having a disabled husband.

Poet

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single women preppers

Do you know of any single women  getting together to form groups or communities to prepare for survival ?

FM 

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single women preppers

Full Moon wrote:

Do you know of any single women  getting together to form groups or communities to prepare for survival ?

FM 

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I saw one episode of Doomsday Preppers on the Nat Geo network that featured a single woman (I believe) in Salt Lake City who lives alone in an apartment and does a lot of prepping and drawing other people in to hear her message. I believe this is her.  Perhaps you could contact her through the website, or maybe her phone number is listed.

http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/doomsday-preppers/meet-the-preppers-pictures/#/meet-the-preppers-becky-brown_49637_600x450.jpg

Doug

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