I formed a relationship with my last partner because we shared values of resilience; unfortunately there were other conflicting issues. I 'd like to meet someone new interested in resilence.
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How did you come to be not-partnered?
Was it by lifelong choice? Circumstance? Death, separation, divorce? Were you imagining a resilient lifestyle with a partner or without one? There must be quite a range of circumstances here.
I myself have always been resilience-minded, even before I had a inkling of what it meant or why it was important. I always imagined myself partnered with someone who valued that perspective. I suddenly found myself unpartnered two years ago due to separation and eventual divorce, and now I'm revising my resiliency plans to accommodate going it alone. My ex-partner did not share the value of resilience and so in some ways it's easier now than ever to shift my lifestyle in that direction.
I am curious about the variety of perspectives we bring to this group. How did you come to be a person who would fit in with a group like this one?
Note: If you're reading this and are not yet a member of Peak Prosperity's Preppers Without Partners Group, please consider joining it now. It's where our active community explores challenges and solutions, advantages and disadvantages to either "going it alone" or facing the future as a single adult responsible for the care of children or elder family members. Simply go here and click the "Join Today" button.
13 Comments
Tue, Dec 25, 2012 - 9:26pm
#2
I just haven't found anyone
I just haven't found anyone that I can stand that can stand me. :)
Wed, Dec 26, 2012 - 9:56pm
#3
Younger Perspective
It seems like this group was geared initially towards folks who have passed the "traditional" marriage years, but I still feel like I belong as a young adult. It's very, very hard to meet like-minded people. I've at least brushed the issues raised here with recent women, but none of them took me seriously. So many people are content with their blinders on. I often yearn for a partner who can share in my efforts and provide support. I also recognize the advantages of being a lone wolf. The grass is always greener, I suppose.
Wed, Dec 26, 2012 - 10:05pm
#4
jeangordon wrote:
I just
I just haven't found anyone that I can stand that can stand me. :)
LOL. A honest person. With any attitude like that, you WILL find someone and someone special.
Fri, Feb 1, 2013 - 11:30am
#5
Widowed Nearly 10 Years Ago
I lost my husband to ALS rather quickly. Shortly after that I discovered Peak Oil, etc and began to make plans to survive fir myself, adult son and daughter-in-law, three grandchildren and elderly mom. Mom has since passed and I am no farther along in my preparations than I was 5 years ago. I simply don't know enough about mnay subjects in order to purchase or do the right things. But I am a believer. Cathy
Sat, Feb 2, 2013 - 9:51am
#6
Welcome Cathy.
Welcome Cathy.
Pull up a chair by the fire. You are among friends.
Mon, Feb 4, 2013 - 9:26am
#7
Welcome, Cathy
I suspect you are much further in your preparation-mindset than most people can claim. You said I simply don't know enough about mnay subjects in order to purchase or do the right things. If you have the time to do some reading, our What Should I Do? (WSID) series here at PeakProsperity may help to fill in those gaps. We also have a WSID blog where we provide more in-depth information about preparedness topics. This is one of the main goals at our site -- to help people gain the information they need to make the choices that will help them increase personal resilience -- and, by extention, prosperity -- in the coming new economic/environmental/energy age. We also offer a deal-of-the-week (thanks to our deal scout, jasonw) if you're looking to make purchases related to increasing your resilience. All of these site features are free. If you want to talk more about this with others who can help sort out what small steps would bring the most gain, let us know!
I am so very sorry to hear how you lost your husband. One of our longtime contributors, Mish Shedlock, recently lost his wife to ALS as well. Your belief in yourself is your most powerful asset.
Welcome.
Thu, Feb 21, 2013 - 8:26am
#8
Accepting not-partnered
Amanda, I love the term not-partnered. I'm here by choice and circumstances. Like Woodman, I have been in relationships where being resilient and preparation was a part of the partnership, circumstances has brought me to the point where I am working at it mostly alone, except for the company and help of my elderly mother. Who by the way grew up on a subsistence farm in this area and has a ton of information in her head that she can share. Sometimes we have to work at getting it out but it sure makes the problem solving easier sometimes.
I have probably been focused on being self-sufficient most of my adult life. It seemed important to me to be prepared and my grandparents lifestyle encouraged that or they were an excellent role model. I learned to can, freeze, harvest, shell, shuck, sew and live within my means from a young age. My grandparents had small packets of gold coins stashed around their house in the 60s and 70s. Now that I'm "retired" I am trying hard to create a productive 5 acres and encourage and help friends and neighbors. It would be nice to have an actively involved partner but I'm a firm believer in accepting what I've been dealt and making lemonaide out of it.
Sharon
Thu, Feb 21, 2013 - 10:04am
#9
Way to go Sharon.
I could use another to help sail my boat, but the issues to do with personalities are just too hard. All the bargaining and negotiations! And then you still don't get it right.
There is a lot of satisfaction for me having solititude and the ability not to have to react to someone else. At least I am not an MCP.
I disappoint no-one but myself if things are not perfect. I really enjoy the freedom to choose just what I am going to do and when.
The older I get the more comfortable I am in my own skin.
By the way, all the commodities are down but one, Coffee. There is merit in trading coffee for a crust using sailboats, growing Norrie and growing and trading saffron. (The product is very small, very expensive, and very legal.)
And if civilization and the internet hold up I can do computer aided drawings from the interior of the yacht.(My very own tax deductable office.) Again the product is very small, (Just data), very portable and very legal.
Thu, Feb 21, 2013 - 4:19pm
#10
Unable to blind myself after seeing
I'm 54 and after 25 years of marriage we are divorcing in large part to my acting upon the need to become more resilient. 9-11 first opened my eyes to the fact I needed to be more engaged in the world. The economic crises of 2008 further drove me to read widely about what was happening to the world, what was going wrong, and to question many of my assumptions of how the world worked. It was eye opening to say the least. My response to the inexorable forces bearing down on us was to act in areas under my control. (Blissful) denial has never seemed to me to be a successful strategy for alleviating anxiety about the future. My wife felt I was being unreasonable to make plans for the changes we will (and are seeing), while I thought it utterly illogical and blind, and most importantly irresponsible, not to. Sadly she never understood this was done with the well being of our family and our community upmost in mind. So like others here, I will move on in life and seek a partner who get it. My boys, who are in college, are somewhat receptive and see by my example that I am serious. Fortunately, they are both studying engineering, so they are technically skilled and I am confident will be well suited to meet our future challenges successfully.
Because of the isolation one feels among family and friends still trapped in normalcy bias, I have found great satisfaction and strength in making new friends in my community, on-line, as well as through Peak Prosperity. In particular, my batteries have been fully recharged both times I've had the pleasure of going to a Rowe Conference with Chris and Becca. While I'm quite comfortable in my own skin and being the oddman out in conventional situations, I have optimism for the future as I meet more and more fellow travelers, sometimes in the most unlikely of places. Cheers!
Thu, Feb 21, 2013 - 11:31pm
#11
Farm life
Most jobs on a farm are fun if you do them with someone else, even if it's a daily chore. That aside i've been single for 2 years now and am very happy. It's easy to spend money on preps if you don't have to explain why you want to buy things.
The ex didn't have the same perspective. I'm happy being single, i would be happy to find someone with the same point of view, and if I don't that's ok too. I'm quite content to get my house and land squared away before I go running after romance again.
Fri, Feb 22, 2013 - 12:07pm
#12
Sailing away
Oh, Arthur, sailing away from the mess does sound lovely. I love watching the sun rise and set on the water. Having spent years not only trying to negotiate relationships and try to manage large scale organizational/political nonsense I like to tell folks these days that I find it zen-like to know I have the simplicity of only one butt to kick if something doesn't work. I don't take offense from the butt kick and move on without a lot of silliness. Would it be easier if I had help and maybe nice to have someone to discuss things with, maybe, but that isn't the case and I don't think I need to wait for it to be different to prepare.
BTW, I too haven't yet given up coffee though I am going to try growing dandelion and see if that will help me transition. I too am considering the saffron growing as a good source of income for the future. I sure like it in my rice. Sharon
Fri, Mar 29, 2013 - 11:38am
#13
V2, I want to be clear that not everyone here is beyond
the "traditional marriage years," as you put it, and that was certainly not the assumption or focus when I started this group. I am in my 30s. 
I am so glad to see such a diverse and strong group of posters here. Keep sharing your stories, suggestions, questions, and solutions!
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